What He's Been Missing

“That’s not it.”

“What is it? Are you about to tell me that Ian was lying?”

“No. I was there. I did hear what the woman said and . . . I wanted the same thing you wanted: real love.”

“You call this shit real love?” I pointed to the blood on my floor. “Lying to me? Lying about who you are, what you like, what you want just so you can be what I’m looking for?”

“I didn’t lie about any of those things. I am who I am. Maybe I’m just what you’ve been looking for.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re not,” I corrected him with every ounce of bite I had in my words.

“Rachel, don’t be like this.” Xavier tried to grab me the way Ian had, but I wouldn’t let him. “I—”

“Get the fuck out!”

“Rach—”

“Get the fuck out of my office before I call the police on your crazy ass,” I said. “Get the fuck out.”

“But—”

“I want you to go away. I want you to go far away.”

The lights in my office shook a little and there was a sound like a boom of thunder outside, but it wasn’t raining.

“Go,” I said.

“This is what you want?”

“I want you to leave and never ever come back.”

10

Birds of a Feather

#Winning? I knew it was Ian when I heard the dull ding the elevator made outside when it stopped on my floor. Jeremy called me, whispering from the lobby when Ian walked into the building. I guessed he was confused and thinking Xavier was still at my place.

I sat on the couch and let him use his key to come in.

He didn’t say anything. Opened the door. Closed it behind him and then I heard the lock snap back into place.

He’d sent me a text a few hours after the incident in the office with Scarlet and Xavier. Scarlet had kicked him out. He wanted to talk.

He walked into the living room with a stuffed weekend duffle bag on one shoulder and his laptop bag on the other. A bag of what smelled like Chinese food was in his hand.

“Hey,” he said so casually.

I returned the greeting and smiled.

I moved over on the couch to make some space for him.

“I brought some food.” He held out the greasy brown paper bag.

“Already ate,” I said. (I was lying, but my stomach already felt like I was about to throw up and it was empty.)

“Well, have you had a drink?” He nodded at my little bar in the back of the room. He put his bags down by the wall, right where Xavier’s suitcase had been. And walked toward the bar. “Want some wine?”

“JD,” I said. “No ice.”