The Beautiful Widow

She could hardly believe she’d reacted in such a way; it had never been like that with Richard or any of her boyfriends before him. Some of them had kissed well and some not so well, but Steel … Her traitorous senses were still tasting him, the feel of his mouth, warm and urgent against hers, his kiss hinting at pleasures and passion she’d never imagined in her wildest, most erotic dreams since she had met him.

She stared at him, utterly bereft and not knowing what to say or do, her cheeks burning hot and her hands icy cold.

‘That was inexcusable,’ he said quietly.

For an awful moment she thought he was talking about her behaviour and her heart stopped beating.

‘I want you to know it won’t happen again, Toni. You have my word. My only defence is that I didn’t expect to lose control in that way, but once I held you in my arms …’ He hesitated. ‘Somehow a desire stronger and more compelling than I’ve ever known took over, but it’s no excuse. Merely an explanation.’

‘It—it wasn’t your fault,’ she stammered helplessly. ‘I shouldn’t have—I mean—’

‘It was totally my fault.’

His voice was strained and she took a little comfort from it; she wouldn’t have been able to bear it if he’d been blasé about the most devastating experience of her life. And it had been. She’d made love with Richard, she’d had his children and then tried to make the marriage work by being accommodating in bed and trying to please him, but never had she felt anything akin to the sweeping passion and desire that had taken her over tonight. And all he’d done was kiss her. What would it be like to make love with him? To spend a night of endless pleasure in his arms?

He was still standing just inside the doorway and his voice was low as he repeated, ‘Totally my fault, I know that, but the bottom line is you have my assurance this won’t be repeated. I don’t want to lose you, Toni. You’re a damn good interior designer and with the plans I have for the future you could go far. I’d hate to think that my stupidity would interfere with that. We will need to work closely together at various times; will you be able to do that after my assurance that this mistake was a one-off?’

Mistake. The word hit her between the eyes, producing a piercing shaft of pain before she told herself that of course that was what it had been. A mistake. One he regretted as much as she did. And that was fine. Just fine. Suddenly, for the first time since he had kissed her, anger was there. It provided a healthy dose of adrenaline that put iron in her backbone and acid on her tongue. ‘Of course,’ she said coolly, wishing she hadn’t run from him outside like a scared rabbit. ‘It was nothing, after all, just one of those things that happens sometimes when the atmosphere’s right and one’s had a glass or two of wine after a hard day’s work.’

The silver eyes surveyed her steadily but a muscle jumped in his jaw, the only thing that indicated he hadn’t liked he

r tone. ‘Not to me, it doesn’t, and I’d like you to know I don’t make a habit of mixing work and play. This was a first.’

Did he expect her to be honoured? she thought waspily. She nodded tightly. ‘It’s already in the past.’

‘Thank you.’

‘I’ll see you to the door,’ she said quietly, her voice completely neutral and screamingly at odds with the turmoil inside.

She stood aside for him to pass her after she had opened the front door, vitally aware of every handsome muscled inch of him as he brushed past her and stepped down onto the pavement. He didn’t immediately walk to the car, looking at her with glittering silver eyes for a moment. ‘Thank your mother again for the meal, would you? You have a lovely family.’

Now she wanted to cry, which was unthinkable. Speech was beyond her so she moved her mouth in a smile as she nodded.

He studied her for a second more, the lean, strong face imperturbable. ‘Goodnight, Toni,’ he said, very softly, before turning away.

CHAPTER SIX

‘YOU COULD HAVE him for sexual harassment. From the sound of it he wouldn’t miss a million or two and you need it more than he does. Hit him where it hurts, in his wallet.’

Toni stared at her best friend; she wasn’t sure if Poppy was joking or not. Very happily married with three children under the age of five, Poppy was the typical earth mother: plump and rounded with a natural prettiness that owned nothing to cosmetics and all to good organic living. She also possessed a wicked sense of humour, which had been the thing that had drawn the two girls into a close friendship when they had met at antenatal classes. As luck would have it Poppy lived quite close to Toni’s mother and Poppy’s eldest child and the twins were due to start the same school in September. Poppy had already offered to help out, taking the twins to and from school any time Toni’s mother couldn’t, and although that wasn’t necessary Toni appreciated the offer.

‘I told you, he’s been the perfect gentleman since Monday night,’ Toni said weakly, ‘besides which if there was any sexual harassment going on I think it was more me than him.’ She glanced out of Poppy’s kitchen window to where the twins were shrieking with delight as Poppy’s eldest boy, a sturdy four-year-old with a voice like a foghorn, chased them with a small bucket of water. It was a baking hot weekend and Poppy had filled the paddling pool with tepid water after all the children had stripped down to their pants and been covered with suncream.

It had been a relief to talk the incident through with Poppy. She’d kept it to herself all week and the strain had been getting to her. Now she wondered if she’d done the right thing.

‘So he’s pretty drop-dead gorgeous, is he, this boss of yours?’ Poppy leant forward, putting her elbows on the kitchen table where they were sitting having coffee and cake. ‘Tell me all the sordid details.’

Toni smiled wryly. ‘You ought to get out more.’

‘Tell me about it.’ Poppy patted her enormous stomach wherein her fourth child lay. Besides Nathan, the four-year-old, she had David, who was three, and little Rose, who would be a year old when the new baby made its appearance. They already knew it was another girl and Poppy had decided two of each was enough and Graham, her husband, was already scheduled for the snip.

‘Seriously though,’ Poppy continued, ‘if you fancy him and he fancies you, what’s wrong with a little fling? You’re a free woman, Toni, and after the life you had with Richard a bit of rampant sex would be just the tonic you need.’

Toni eyed her friend severely. ‘For one thing he doesn’t particularly fancy me; I told you, it was more me than him.’ The recollection of how she’d practically begged him to make love to her with that kiss was still too raw to talk about in any detail, and she went on hurriedly, ‘Added to which I’ve only been a widow a matter of months and “rampant sex", as you put it, isn’t my style with a virtual stranger.’ Or anyone else, come to it. Poppy had been free with her favours before she met Graham and settled down and had hardly been able to believe it when Toni had told her Richard had been her first and only lover.

‘He won’t be a stranger the more you work with him,’ Poppy said reasonably. ‘Especially if your mother invites him to dinner.’

‘He’s my boss.’