‘Only because you ate two helpings of her casserole.’
‘When am I going to be invited again?’
She’d fallen into that one, Toni thought wryly. ‘I don’t know. How often do friends eat at each other’s homes?’
‘All the time.’
‘Steel—’
He caught the note of anxiety in her voice with his lips as he kissed her. ‘A day at a time, sweetheart. OK?’
She swallowed. Now she was home, standing outside the place wherein her two children lay sleeping, she was filled with doubts and panic. This could only end badly. She knew it as surely as night followed day. So why on earth was she allowing it to continue for another moment? And then she looked up into the hard, handsome face and she knew why. At some point over the last six months she had fallen in love with Steel.
She lowered her lids to hide the stricken look she knew must be visible in her eyes. She had fought against it, railed against it, told herself all sorts of lies and evasions, but it was still true. She loved him. She loved him as she would never love anyone else, the infatuation she had felt for Richard before they had married a pale shadow in comparison.
A tiny part of her acknowledged it was a relief to admit it to herself at last; a far bigger part felt terrified.
‘You’re tired. I’d better let you go.’ This time his kiss was just a peck on the top of her nos
e. ‘And tell your mother you’ve invited me to dinner tomorrow.’
‘I haven’t. I didn’t,’ she said weakly, without heat.
‘Or I’ll phone up and tell her myself. I’m in your life, Toni. Get used to it.’
She watched him turn and walk back to his car and she thought, Yes, but for how long? How long before the novelty of him having to chase a woman for once—because that was undoubtedly what this was all about—began to pall? However long it was, it wouldn’t be long enough. She wanted for ever. The whole roses-round-the-door scenario. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
She became aware that although he was sitting in the car he was waiting to see her inside the house before he drove off. It was one of the many little courtesies that were as natural to him as breathing and her heart ached with love for him. She waved once and then opened the front door and stepped into the house, closing it and leaning against it as she heard the engine purr into life.
She continued to stand there long after the sound of the car had disappeared, a thousand and one emotions tearing at her breast. And then very slowly, like an old woman, she climbed the stairs to check on the girls. They were fast asleep, Amelia lying with one hand under her cheek and Daisy curled into a little ball under the covers with only the top of her head visible. Her precious babies, her precious girls.
And only then did she let the tears come.
She was awoken from a deep sleep by her mobile phone, which she’d forgotten to turn off the night before. Half falling off the small sofa bed she staggered across the sitting room and reached for her bag, aware it was still dark. ‘Hello?’ she said muzzily. ‘Who is it?’
‘Toni? I’m an uncle.’ Steel’s voice was ridiculously excited. ‘Annie had a little girl this morning.’
‘Oh, Steel.’ Suddenly she was wide awake. ‘How wonderful.’
‘She’s beautiful, exquisite, with the tiniest fingers and toes. I can’t believe she was inside her mother only yesterday.’
‘You’ve seen her already?’ Toni squinted at the time on her mobile and it informed her it was five o’clock.
‘I’ve been at the hospital since I left you. Just as I drove away Jeff phoned and said Annie had been in labour all day and they were leaving for the hospital, and if I could spare half an hour she’d love to see me. So I went and saw her and then waited in a little room until the baby was born. She’s perfect. Small but perfect.’
‘What did she weigh?’ Toni asked, smiling at his enthusiasm.
‘Six pound something, I think.’
‘Is she still Eve?’
‘Almost. It’s Miranda Eve now. Miranda was our mother’s name,’ he added huskily. ‘It suits her already.’
For a moment the urge to see him and hold him in her arms was so strong she felt weak with it. He was upset; thrilled but upset, and she could understand that. His mother would never see her granddaughter. That was hard at such a joyous time.
‘Where are you now?’ she said softly.
‘Sitting outside your house.’