‘Kay—’
‘No, it’s my turn now,’ Kay said firmly. ‘What he did for Henry was great, it really was, and for all we know he might have done a million and one good Samaritan deeds in his time, but that still doesn’t change the way he looks at women and commitment. There are things in his past that have shaped him, things that happened when he was a boy, and it would take someone very special to help him get rid of his hang-ups. I’m—’
‘Lovely,’ Leonora put in quickly.
‘Ordinary,’ Kay said, smiling faintly. ‘Face it, Mum. I am.’
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‘You care about him, though.’
If her mother’s voice hadn’t been so sad Kay might have been able to bluff her way out of it. As it was she swallowed hard, tears pricking at the back of her eyes as she fiercely told herself she couldn’t cry. ‘Then that’s my misfortune, isn’t it? I walked into this with my eyes open and I suppose I was hoping…’
‘Hoping?’ Leonora prompted gently.
‘Hoping he might fall madly in love with me, like I have with him, the more time we’ve spent together over the last couple of months. Stupid.’
‘Not stupid, just human.’ They sat together in silence for a few moments, Leonora taking Kay’s cold hands in her own warm ones. ‘What will you do?’
Kay didn’t answer for a little while, and then she roused herself, straightening her shoulders. ‘End it. Not in a big, dramatic way because, Mitchell being Mitchell, he’ll look on that as a challenge. I think that’s why he was interested in the first place, because I didn’t fall at his feet and worship like most women. I was different, that’s all it was,’ she added with a shred of bitterness. ‘No, I’ll do it carefully. Cut down on the dates I can keep, put up obstacles, that kind of thing.’
‘And you think that will work?’ Leonora asked doubtfully.
‘Eventually. He’s a proud man, Mum.’
They talked for a few more minutes and then Kay kissed her mother, hugging her tight for a moment before she left. Once outside on the landing she stood listening but she could hear nothing from downstairs. She walked along to the twins’ room, opening the door very quietly and tiptoeing across to the little girls asleep in their beds. She stood there for some time and it wasn’t until she felt the salt at the edges of her mouth that she realised she was crying. After rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand she tucked the duvets more securely around the two tiny figures, positioning their teddy bears under their arms, before leaving as silently as she had come.
On opening the door to her room Kay nearly jumped out of her skin, smothering her yelp of alarm with the palm of her hand as she realised the big dark figure sitting in one of the easy chairs was Mitchell. ‘Where was the party?’ he asked sarcastically, not moving a muscle as she closed the door before taking one or two steps into the room.
‘I’m sorry?’
‘You’ve been—’ he consulted the Rolex on his tanned wrist ‘—thirty-five minutes, and this from a woman who was allegedly so tired she couldn’t keep her eyes open downstairs.’
The shock of seeing him sitting there had died and healthy anger was taking its place. ‘I was tired,’ she said shortly, ‘but I had a chat with my mother. That isn’t a crime, is it? I looked in on the twins too,’ she added crisply. ‘That’s what I do, Mitchell. I’m a mother.’
‘So you reminded me today—exhaustively.’ The crystal eyes in the handsome face were cold. ‘Which brings me on to why I’m here.’
‘Which you shouldn’t be.’ She glared at him. ‘It’s twenty to twelve. I’m tired.’
‘Tough.’ He spoke with a softness that carried true menace.
‘Charming,’ Kay said sharply. ‘Very host-like.’
‘And you needn’t take that tone. You’ve frozen me out all this afternoon and evening and I want to know why. Is it still this “two different worlds” thing? Because if it is that’s bull. Half the world’s population wouldn’t be with their partner right now if their past and present had to match perfectly, and you know it.’
‘It’s not a question of being the same in that sense, of course it’s not,’ she snapped hotly, the tension of the afternoon and the emotionally wearing chat with her mother stretching her nerves to breaking-point.
‘Then what?’ He levered himself up from the chair and Kay forced herself not to move or react as he walked across to her, her eyes wide and steady as she met his angry gaze. ‘What is it? All this talk of you being a mother? Damn it, Kay, you’ve been a mother since I met you; Georgia and Emily haven’t suddenly arrived on the scene. You must know I wouldn’t ask you to upset them in any way, disrupt their routine or security. Don’t make me out to be some sort of self-centred, mercenary dictator because I don’t like it.’
‘I didn’t say you were a monster,’ she fired back quickly, her heart thumping.
‘Well, that’s the way you’ve made me feel all afternoon.’ He raked a hand through his short hair, the gesture one of extreme frustration and fury. ‘Damn it, I’ve trodden on eggshells with you for the last couple of months. I’ve had so many cold showers it’s not true, cautioned myself to go slowly until I’m half out of my mind, and for what? To be looked at as thought you’re scared stiff of me one minute or that I’m something that’s just crawled out of the slime the next.’
‘That is so unfair! Hugely unfair.’
‘No, it is not, Kay.’ He was standing so close she could see where he’d nicked himself shaving, the warm, faintly delicious smell of him teasing her nostrils.
‘Well, if you feel like that why have you bothered?’ she said feverishly. ‘Us dating was your idea, if you remember.’