Where had all those insecure, needy thoughts and feelings come from? Although Vanessa had said it was normal, Mel couldn’t help but feel embarrassed by her momentary weakness. She felt fine now. Amazing, even. She would do it again in a heartbeat, subdrop and all.
Mel looked at her phone. Vanessa’s text had been sent less than two hours ago. Would her meeting be over by now? Mel didn’t want to interrupt anything, but Vanessa had made it very clear that Mel should call her immediately. Her bossiness should have bothered Mel. It definitely would have, coming from anyone else.
Mel sat up and dialed Vanessa’s number.
Vanessa picked up the phone within two rings. “Give me a moment.”
Mel heard voices in the background, then the sound of a door closing.
“Melanie. How are you feeling?” Vanessa asked.
“Fine. Is your meeting over?”
“No. Bu
t it’s nothing that can’t wait five minutes.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Mel said.
“Don’t be. I wouldn’t have told you to call me if I didn’t mean it. Now, how do you feel? Honestly?”
“Fine. Really. Although I am a bit sore.”
Vanessa chuckled softly. It was the first time Mel had heard her laugh. “Well, that’s to be expected. How’s your mood?”
“Good. I feel great, actually.”
“No more subdrop? Sometimes it can linger the next day.”
“Nope. I’m back to normal.”
“I’m glad.” She paused. “I didn’t want to leave you alone after last night, but I couldn’t get out of this meeting.”
“It’s okay. I’m fine. Really.”
“Have you eaten anything?”
“Not yet, I just woke up.”
“As soon as you hang up, I want you to have breakfast. And drink plenty of water. Your body needs to replenish itself after last night.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll talk to you soon.”
Mel hung up the phone. The warm, affectionate Vanessa of last night was gone. But she wasn’t back to being cool and inscrutable. It was something in between. It made Mel wonder—how much of Vanessa’s hard, emotionless persona was an act, and how much of it was actually her?
Mel hopped out of bed and examined Vanessa’s breakfast offerings. She didn’t know why she was trying to figure Vanessa out. Things between them were supposed to be purely physical. But Mel was beginning to realize that what she and Vanessa were doing together required a level of intimacy that she hadn’t anticipated. She remembered Vanessa’s words about trust. If life had taught Mel anything, it was that the only person she could rely on was herself.
Mel sighed. Things were starting to spin out of control. If she wasn’t careful, it would be too easy for her to lose herself in both Vanessa and BDSM. Because for Mel, the two were inextricably intertwined.
The days that followed only left Mel feeling even more conflicted.
“It’s been four days, Jess.” Mel lay on the lawn with her friend, soaking in the sun between classes. “And nothing!”
“Why don’t you just text her yourself?” Jess asked.
“Because it would be weird. She’s the one who always contacts me.” Mel knew how flimsy an excuse it was.