“Thanks again, Elena,” Mel said. “I owe you one.”
“Any time.” Elena gave Mel a farewell nod. “Good luck.”
The elevator ride up to Vanessa’s apartment seemed to take forever. When Mel reached the top floor, she dashed to Vanessa’s front door.
Mel took a deep breath and knocked. Moments later, the door swung open.
“Melanie?” Vanessa stood in the doorway in a silky robe. She had a towel over one arm and her hair was damp.
“Vanessa,” Mel said. After all this time, Vanessa was still able to take Mel’s breath away.
For a moment, they stood there, on opposite sides of the doorway, their gazes locked.
Vanessa’s eyes fell to Mel’s neck. Seeing her choker there broke her out of her trance. She opened the door wide. “Come in.”
As soon as Mel was inside, everything spilled out. “I’m so sorry, Vanessa. For everything. I’m sorry that I behaved the way I did. I’m sorry that I said all those horrible things. I’m sorry that I walked away from you-”
“Melanie,” Vanessa said. “Sit down.”
Mel obeyed.
“You don’t have to apologize. I understand.”
“No, I do. And I want to explain myself,” Mel said. “All my life, everyone I’ve ever loved has abandoned me. My father. My mother. She would leave me alone or forget about me, time and time again, and she was never really there when I needed her. So, all that time ago, I told myself I didn’t need anyone else. I told myself I didn’t need love. And after a while, I began to believe it.” Mel felt a torrent of emotions rising up.
Vanessa reached out and placed her hand on Mel’s.
A sense of calm washed over her. Mel continued. “But you? You made me remember what it was like to feel loved. And it terrified me. The only other person who made me feel like that was Kim. I think she loved me too in her own twisted way. But she manipulated me and toyed with my emotions until I didn’t know what to feel anymore. And in the end, she abandoned me too. And she told me she never loved me and that none of what I felt was real. It crushed me. So when Rose came along and said all those things, it reawakened all those doubts and fears. I was scared of getting hurt again, so I pushed you away. And I did it in the most destructive way possible, and I’m so sorry…”
“It’s all right, Melanie,” Vanessa said. “I understand.”
“But that’s not all. After everything that happened, I realized that I can’t let my past hold me hostage. And I realized that what we had was too precious to give up on. And I realized that I couldn’t hide from my feelings. Vanessa—” Mel’s pulse was racing “—I love you.”
Vanessa smiled. She wrapped her arms around Mel and pulled her in close. “Oh, Melanie. I promise you, I feel the same way. I always have. From the start, I never thought of you as my submissive because I always hoped for more. It took me a while to admit it to myself. I was afraid that if I held you too tightly I’d hurt you like I did Rose. But I couldn’t help myself. I did everything I could to make you mine, but I never told you how I really felt. It’s the biggest mistake I ever made. So I’m telling you now.” Vanessa took Mel’s hands in hers. “I love you, Melanie.”
Mel’s heart sang in her chest. She leaned over and kissed Vanessa, soft and slow, gentle and sweet. Mel had missed those lips. They seemed to fit perfectly with her own.
“It’s time we made another rule,” Vanessa said. “Next time one of us has a problem? We talk about it. And face it together. No lies, no keeping everything inside. No lashing out. And no disappearing acts. How does that sound?”
“Okay.” They had been given a second chance at this. Mel was not going to mess it up. She closed her eyes and nestled in closer to Vanessa, and they sat there together, silent and still.
“Melanie?”
“Yes?” Mel could feel Vanessa’s heartbeat pulsing through her body.
“I want to show you my playroom.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Vanessa unlocked the door to the playroom and flicked on the light. Mel followed her inside. She was immediately reminded of The Scarlet Room at Lilith’s Den. Was The Scarlet Room inspired by Vanessa’s playroom or the other way around? The only difference was that this room seemed more intimate and personal. It was packed to the brim with every toy and tool imaginable, each carefully organized and lovingly cared for. A rack on the wall displayed a collection of whips, crops, and canes, all with crimson leather handles like Vanessa’s riding crop. At the end of the room was an elaborate iron four-poster bed with rings all along the frame. Tie points. The smell of leather hung in the air.
Vanessa walked to the center of the room, her bare feet padding on the floorboards. She looked around, an undecipherable expression on her face.
“Are you all right, Vanessa?” Mel asked.
“Yes. It’s the first time I’ve been in here with someone since Rose.”
Mel took Vanessa’s hand. “We don’t have to do this.”