Slowly Pen turned. She should have guessed that Cam would follow. Lamps lit the terrace, lending enough brightness for her to see him in the shadows near the doorway. He’d dressed with care too, as if aware that tonight marked some kind of ending.
She’d been so reluctant to travel with him. It seemed absurd to be sad that their time together was nearly over. ?
??You don’t talk enough to drive me to self-harm.”
He approached with the loose-limbed stroll that always set her heart racing. She really was a besotted idiot. He passed her one of the glasses of red wine he carried. “Let’s toast old acquaintance.”
For once, prickling hostility was absent. Instead, Cam seemed like the kindhearted boy she’d known years ago. Her determination to maintain her distance faltered. She raised her glass. “To friendship.”
“Our journey ends,” he said musingly.
“We have the voyage ahead.”
“We’re safe from scandal on the Windhover. My crew is paid to keep their mouths shut.”
How he must want this marriage with Lady Marianne. Unworthy chagrin cramped Pen’s heart. She wanted to tear every hair from the woman’s no doubt perfectly coiffured head. Pen had devoted too many futile hours to wondering about Cam’s choice. Beautiful, Pen was sure. Impeccably behaved. Circumspect.
“We’ve made it.” She tried and failed to sound happy.
Thankfully Cam didn’t appear to notice her glumness. He sipped his wine and stared out to sea with a pensive expression. “Yes. And without killing each other.”
“We’ve come close.”
He studied her. “I wish you well, Pen. I’ve only ever wished you well.”
She knew that. Her rejection of his proposal might sting. Her independence and obstinacy undoubtedly infuriated him. Perhaps he even regretted that they’d never explore the desire simmering between them. But the bonds of childhood affection persisted.
“I wish you well too, Cam,” she said softly.
“What do you intend to do when you get home?”
“Settle my aunt’s affairs.”
“After that?”
She shrugged. “Return to Italy. I have friends here and places I’d like to see.”
“You won’t stay in England?”
And witness, even from afar, Cam’s wedded bliss? Cam becoming a father? She’d rather cut out her liver with a paperknife. “No.”
“Elias and Harry would love to have their sister home.”
“They have their own lives. They’re used to doing without me.”
“Now they have to do without you and without Peter.” He flinched at her distressed inhalation. “I’m sorry. That was insensitive.”
She stared at him. “Goodness, Cam, was that an apology? I thought you’d lost the knack.”
His lips firmed, but he remained calm. Pity. Her longing was so much easier to control when dislike crackled. Except what vibrated between them wasn’t exactly dislike.
“I’ve been a brute.”
Her laugh was wry. “Not by anyone’s definition but your own.”
His gaze remained unwavering. “You know why I’ve been difficult.”
“You told me.”