Wifey: Part 1

Tony was sitting behind the counter along with one of the girls who worked the front counter. He was leaning backwards in a desk chair with wheels.

I said to Tony, “You keep leaning back like that, and you gonna buss your muthafuckin’ ass.”

Tony turned and saw that it was me. “Ohhh, Nicoooo! My man.” He stood up and came from around the counter and gave me a pound and a quick embrace.

“What’s the deal with you?” Tony said with his Italian accent. “You tell me two other times you were coming then I don’t see you. I thought you took the car to somebody else.”

“Nah, we just had conflicts trying to link up. Then I was outta town in South Beach for a minute, so you know how it goes.”

“Tell me about it. I’m so friggin’ busy in here, I don’t even have time to count all the money I’m making,” Tony joked. “Then I got the old lady always on my ass, nagging about something. It’s crazy.”

“Mo’ money, mo’ problems,” I told him.

Tony nodded his head toward Jasmine, and when he got her attention, he said to her, “You see this guy right here? He’s a good fuckin’ dude. He’s the best. I knew him since we were ten years old. We played basketball together.”

“Oh, OK. That’s cool. And y’all stayed in touch all these years?”

“You friggin’ kiddin’ me? This is like my brother. I’d trust this guy with my life.”

Jasmine smiled.

“So, Tony, somebody fucked up, blew a stop sign, and hit her Lexus. I figured I would have her come check you and let you knock it out for her, since she was telling me that she had a two-thousand-dollar deductible with her insurance.”

“Yeah, I got you. Let me see the damage. Is the car outside?”

The three of us walked out of the reception area and made our way outside to the car.

“How’s the Maybach treating you?” Tony asked.

“Fuck what you heard. On the real, that’s the best car on the planet. I love it. Much better than them small-ass Bugatti’s niggas be pushing.”

“You hear this guy? He’s got more money than God!” Tony laughed. “OK. So this is the car? Wow! This can’t be more than six months old,” Tony stated, referring to the Lexus.

“It’s not,” Jasmine replied.

“Well, I can fix it, no problem. It looks like it’s just the front quarter panel, but if you see right here where the passenger door got pushed in a little, it doesn’t look like much. But if I redo the front quarter panel and leave the door like that, it’ll look crazy. So, to do it right, I’ll have to replace the front passenger door and the front quarter panel.”

“OK, so what am I looking at?” I asked.

“For this, I’ll bang the insurance company for eleven grand, and when they cut me the check, since you my nigga, I’ll give you back the two grand she paid for the deductible.” Tony laughed and told Jasmine not to take offense because I had given him permission to use the N-word.

Jasmine smiled at Tony’s comment and nodded her head to let him know she was cool with everything he had said.

“I’m sorry, miss. Nico, this rude schmuck, didn’t even introduce us. I didn’t get your name.” Tony extended his hand to Jasmine.

“I’m Jasmine,” she smiled and replied.

“You have any questions for me?”

“No. Nico told me he would take care of the deductible for me, so I guess I only wanna know when it will be ready.”

Tony stared at her for a moment before continuing to speak. “Did anybody ever tell you that you look—”

Jasmine cut Tony off and finished his sentence. “Like Jada Pinkett Smith, right?”

“No. I was actually going say the singer Mya.”

“Yup, I get that too sometimes.”