Wifey: Part 1

Mia shouted into the phone, “Nico, I know she listening. Bitch, if you listening, I ain’t going anywhere, and I’ll keep beating your ass until you get the point.”

Nico reached over and put his hand on my thigh, for me to just chill and remain quiet. “Mia, I’m alone, so shut the fuck up ’cause you really sound stupid r

ight now.”

“Oh, now I’m stupid? You know what?” Mia sniffled. “I NEVER thought you would go out like this and do this to me, not in my wildest dreams.”

Nico was quiet.

“And you going to stay on that silent bitch-ass shit, right?”

Nico kept his mouth closed as I continued to listen in. On the inside, I was beaming and doing back-flips from happiness.

“Fuck you, Nico! And you can have your young, dumb-ass ho! All that shows is how dumb your black ass is. You going to pick that bitch over me? And yet you going to call me stupid? Sweetie, let me tell you something. When you lay down with dogs, you get fleas, but when you lay down with whores, there ain’t no telling what you might get. So thank you, Nico, for doing me a favor, ’cause I can tell you one thing—That bitch that’s sitting right next to you now listening to this phone call, she ain’t who you think she is. What’s her name, Jasmine? That’s what you think her name is, Nico. But ask her right now what her other name is. Jasmine, I know you can hear me, so why don’t you tell your new man what your other name is?”

Nico gave me a confused look.

My heart started pounding. I knew she would go there when I asked Nico to call her but it was a chance I had to take. Although, I didn’t want shit going here until I showed Nico what I had to show him. But I played things off and looked at Nico and shook my head and held both of my hands out to indicate I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about.

“Oh, now she going to sit there all quiet and shit like a church mouse, but up in Sofa Lounge she had all the mouth in the world. Talk that Sofa Lounge shit now, Jasmine. Or should I say Chyna? Chyna, talk that shit now, china doll.”

I panicked, and I think it was evident to Nico, who silently mouthed words to me asking, what she was talking about.

Once again I shook my head and silently mouthed back to him that I didn’t know.

“Quiet as a fucking church mouse! Speak up, Jasmine—I mean, Chyna—and tell Nico how you be all over Craigslist and the Internet selling your ass! Talk that shit now and tell him!”

I took my right hand and waved it from side to side in front of my neck and whispered to Nico that she was lying.

“Nico, that video-ho pussy you fuckin’, it’s pussy that everybody done had. So if you want to go out like that and rock with that chick, then OK cool, go ahead and do you, and I’m going to do me.” Mia laughed.

“Mia, what the fuck are you talkin’ ’bout?” Nico asked.

“Oh, now you want to speak? What am I talking about? I’m talking about how you need to do your homework, baby. But then again, I could be wrong. I mean, I know you been shelling out that dough to that preacher dude for that casino shit, so maybe your chips are low right now and you want some of that bargain-basement pussy. Jasmine . . . oh, I mean, Chyna, what is it that you charge again, one hundred for a half an hour and one hundred and eighty for a whole hour? Yeah, Nico, if that’s what you on, then sorry. This pussy right here ain’t no Wal-Mart pussy. This is high-end, exclusive, passport pussy right here, and you got to come correct, and ain’t no two ways about that shit.”

I sat there and shook my head. I was trying to send a signal to Nico that it was sad that Mia would lie on me like that.

Nico just looked at me, his jawbone tensing up.

“What you got to say now, Nico?” Mia asked.

“I ain’t got shit to say. You sound like a bitter bitch.”

Mia laughed. “And you sound like a nigga in denial. But you know what? You can lie to yourself and create your own reality, that’s cool, but pictures don’t lie, and the truth don’t need no defense. If you want proof, I’ll get you your proof!”

I couldn’t take it anymore, and at that point I had to speak up. “Mia, sweetheart, this is Jasmine, and, yes, I been sittin’ here the whole time listening to everything.”

Mia chuckled. “So then tell him, Chyna, how you be selling your ass on the Internet!”

Nico was looking at me, and I could tell that he was mad as shit because I had spoken up, but I didn’t care.

“No, what you need to do is tell Nico about the nigga that was banging your back out when you flew down to Miami. That’s what you need to do, instead of lying on me. And if you say pictures don’t lie, then videos definitely don’t lie!”

Nico looked at me, and then he spoke right behind me. “Mia, what the fuck is she talkin’ ’bout?” he yelled.

Mia paused before she spoke, and right then and there, I knew I had her.

“She ain’t talking about shit. She just don’t want me to show you these pictures I got of her ass, so now she making up shit. Nico, I want to show you these pictures. That’s all. I want to see the look on your face when you see how much of an ass you are. Who the fuck in their right mind trades in Maybach pussy for a used, beat-up rent-a-car that everybody done literally rode in and drove into the ground?”