“Expressing my feelings through my songs has helped me. The only way you’ll heal from Zoey’s death is to stop running from your emotions. You have to deal with them.”
Jack spun to face her. His onyx eyes glowed with anger. “She was my daughter. I will never forget her.”
Audra’s eyes widened in horror. “That’s not what I said.”
“You can’t replace a child.”
“No, you can’t.”
He turned his back to her again. “Then my feelings don’t matter.”
“I disagree.” She’d been so close to getting him to open up about the pain he must be feeling.
Jack met her gaze over his shoulder. “Are you speaking from experience?”
“That’s not fair. Why are you running away from your feelings?”
“Because they hurt.” Jack clenched his fists. His arm muscles flexed under his short-sleeved shirt.
Audra briefly closed her eyes as Jack’s pain sliced through her heart. She crossed to him, placing her hand on his back. “I wish I could take the pain away from you.”
“I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.”
She rested her cheek on his back and wrapped her arms around his waist. His body was warm. “What would you say to Zoey right now if you could talk with her?”
“I don’t want to do this, Audra.”
“Try.” Her voice was a gentle nudge.
“What’s the point?”
“Does there have to be one?” She kissed his back through his cotton shirt. “Pretend you’re sitting with her right now. What would you say to her?”
Jack sighed. Moments ticked by before he broke his silence. “I’m sorry.”
Audra frowned. “What?”
“I would tell her I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Audra whispered.
“For not saving her. For not keeping our family together. For not being the hero she thought I was.”
Audra forced him to turn around. She held his upper arms in a firm grip and shook him once. “None of those things are your fault—not her illness and not Kerry’s leaving. You have nothing to be sorry for. And, of course, you were her hero. I’m sure you gave her courage when she must have been so scared.”
Jack didn’t look convinced. “How do you know that?”
“Because you give me courage.”
One thick, dark eyebrow arched. “I don’t think hiking in the woods is comparable.”
“Of course not. What you had with Zoey is so much more than what we have. That’s why I’m certain your love gave her courage.”
Audra didn’t flinch under his searching regard. After a moment, Jack wrapped his arms around her and held her tight to him.
Audra closed her eyes and soaked up the strength she felt whenever she was around him. She hugged him even closer. “You are a hero. Remember that. Zoey would want you to remember, too.”
Doreen greeted Audra with a Trinity Falls Fudge Walnut Brownie and a mug of coffee Thursday at Books & Bakery. “I’ve heard your rehearsals with the band are going well.”