She broke his gaze on a whispered, “Fuck.”
“Just say it,” he said, an edge in his voice. One that indicated he was preparing for something he didn’t want to hear. “Just get it out in the open. There’s no point—”
“I…love you.” She pushed the words out, sure they’d get stuck if she held onto them a second longer. And, damn, they felt so bizarre coming off her lips. Like her mouth wasn’t created to form them with this meaning.
They left Tate speechless. Which only made her nerves jitter harder.
“I mean, I think I do. I don’t have anything to compare it to. I just know this whole leaving thing has me really…messed up inside. And I didn’t even want to say the words because I know you’ve been hurt, and I don’t want to say things that might mean one thing to me and something else to you. I don’t want to hurt you. I just…I just… Shit, I just…love you. I love being with you. I love thinking about you. All I want to do is spend time with you—like all the time. And I hate the thought of leaving you, even when what I’ve been working toward for ten years is waiting for me in Paris. Even when I love Paris. And, shit, this is all just too damn weird for words.”
She pressed a hand to her chest and dragged in air to lungs that felt like fists. “I can’t breathe. I think I’m having a panic attack.”
“Oh, baby.” He wrapped both arms around her and laid back, dragging her with him. Olivia rolled to her stomach, stretching over him, trying to press every inch of her skin to his. When he doubled those thickly muscled arms around her and held her tight, it felt so good it hurt and tears blurred her vision.
“It’s not real, right?” she asked, searching for some sort of level ground. “This is some weird reaction to stress, right? I mean, we’ve known each other two weeks. That’s not how love works, is it? Not real love.” God her brain was in knots. She pressed her face against his neck. “See this is why I didn’t want to say anything. Because I’m so screwed up. And after what you’ve been through, hearing this is probably the last—”
He released her and lifted her head, kissing her quiet. A steady, solid, warm kiss that instantly stopped the spin and grounded her. She relaxed. Breathed. And sank into the kiss. Where she found everything she needed—affection, strength, confidence.
When he broke the kiss, he stroked her cheeks and looked deep into her eyes. “I feel the same way, baby. It feels fast, but it also feels right. Life is messy and love doesn’t always come when and where it’s most convenient. So, yeah, it’s scary. And after what we’ve both been through, it should scare the hell out of us. That means we really care. That means we’re serious. If we weren’t scared, Liv, it wouldn’t be real.” He kissed her again. “I love you, Liv.”
Panic fluttered beneath her ribs again. “But what about— How are we— This is—“ She dropped her forehead to his chest. “Shit.”
He started laughing.
A sweet sensation rippled through her, but she groaned in misery over how this would complicate everything. “Shut up. I’m freaking out here.”
His laughter faded and he sighed. His hands slid down her back, over her ass and held her to him as he rolled. When she was beneath him, Olivia parted her thighs and took his hips snug between her legs.
Tate rested on his forearms, the backs of his fingers skimming her face. “You’ve made me happier in these two weeks than anyone has made me in years.”
“I’ve pissed you off pretty good too.”
He smiled. “Only because it took you way too damn long to realize that resistance was futile.”
That made a little laugh bubble up.
“I know you’re leaving soon,” he said, “And I don’t want to stress you out. You’ve already got a lot going on. Let’s just take one day at a time right now. After the banquet, we’ll sit down together and make a plan. We have all kinds of time, Liv. Like my dad pointed out, Paris is only a seven hour flight away.”
“But I don’t know what I want to do after—”
“You don’t have to know that now. I don’t know what I’m going to do when my next contract comes up. We can’t always know where we’ll be a year from now. Nothing that’s happened for me in the last couple years has followed the plan I had in my head. So maybe planning that far in advance and making plans now based on what you think might happen then isn’t such a great idea. At least for us. And at least not right now.”
The fear receded. Olivia could see clearer, breath deeper. “Really? You’re okay with that?”
“What did you expect? That I’d demand you live here when your whole life is there right now?”
“I guess I figured after what your wife did, you’d have issues with me being so far away.”
“Ex-wife,” he corrected. “And you’re right. That’s a trouble spot for me. If you’re not ready to stay with one man, or if you think your sexual needs are too high to be satisfied in a long-distance relationship, then this won’t work, because I could never share you.” His eyes took on a dull ache. “And I would definitely want to know either way before you leave.”
“That’s fair.” Her nervous flutters dimmed. “But I can tell you right now I’ve never been loved like this before. Not in ten years. Not anywhere in the world. So I’m not the least bit interested in trying to go out and search for something I have right here.”
Framing her face, he kissed her gently. “You make me feel like more of a fucking superstar than a stadium full of screaming fans.”
She lifted her hips, rubbing against his erection and his eyes closed on a groan.
“Why don’t you show me—again—just what a superstar you are, Mr. Donovan.
12