An arm’s length away, my phone buzzed. I glanced at it, hesitated, and then sighed. “It’s my mom.”
“Resist.”
“No, I should see what it is.”
And the odd note in Mom’s voice made me glad I’d picked up, as did her almost timidity when she asked if I had time to talk. “Of course. Just—” I glanced at Mike, and then grabbed at my sweatshirt, making an apologetic moue. He waved his hand and gathered his things instead, and quietly shut the door behind him. “Okay, tell me what’s wrong.”
She led up to it with all the little lines about how irritating Dad was, lines that I thought meant nothing, and finished with, “So I’m moving out.”
The entire world blanked. I forgot how to breathe or see, and then I wanted to babble in overtime to make up for the seconds I’d lost. “Are you sure? When did you decide?”
“About ten years ago. Honey—I know this is going to be hard for you—”
I tried not to let her hear me hyperventilating. “Me? No. I’m an adult. Are you okay?” Of course she wasn’t okay.
Oh my God, I couldn’t believe Mom would leave Dad.
She sounded like she doubted my adulthood. “I know, but it’s still hard for children—even grown ones—to handle divorce.”
Divorce? Whoa, I’d been thinking separation. “Have you—have you tried couple’s therapy?”
“Yes. Honey—this has been a long time coming.”
I knew that. I just didn’t think it would ever actually arrive. “But why didn’t you do it years ago?”
She sounded like her heart was breaking. My heart was breaking. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to until you were out of the house. Until you’d found your feet. And—maybe I’d forgotten about being happy.”
“And—what. No. Mom. Paris? That’s just rose-colored glasses. I mean, it was Paris. And you were eighteen. Of course it’s beautiful in hindsight.”
“Well, I want it back. I think I deserve it.”
Shit, I was a crap daughter. “Of course you do. You do.” I swallowed. “Will you be okay?”
“Of course! I’ll be fine. Cheryl’s letting me stay with her while I look for a place.”
My eyes widened. “Wait, when are you leaving?”
“That’s why I wanted to call you. This weekend.”
I went silent for long enough that she had to say my name. I took a breath and forced out the question. “Did you ever think this would happen? In the beginning?”
Her silence almost rivaled mine. “Never.”
I watched the rain.
“Because you loved him.”
“So, so much. Don’t doubt that, Natalya. I loved him with every part of my soul.”
* * *
Mike knocked and walked back in while I sat curled in the window seat, staring out at the drizzle. “What’s wrong?”
I looked up, but it took a moment for Mike to come into focus. “My mom’s moving out.”
He stopped. “Wow.”
I stared at the murky green mess. “It’s surreal. I guess since they were unhappy forever—it was the status quo. I didn’t think it would ever change.”