Will it always be like this? Chaotic and painful? Will I have to walk counting my steps?
One day, I’ll attend one of these parties and watch Aiden waltz inside with Silver hanging off his arm as his wife.
His fucking wife.
Acute nausea coats my throat and sticks my tongue to the roof of my mouth.
I won’t survive that. I can’t.
My thoughts rob my air again. I stop near one of the food tables to catch my breath. There’s another patio to my right. Will anyone notice if I hide out there for the rest of the evening?
Movement catches in my peripheral vision.
In the corner of the patio, a man and woman are shrouded in darkness as they talk in a hushed tone. I can’t hear them due to the music and the general chatter.
There goes my plan to hide out there.
I’m about to turn around when something else catches my attention.
The man speaks so low, it’s almost threatening. The girl shrinks back against the stone railing. The dim light catches in her… green hair?
I barge outside. “Kim?”
The man — Xander — slowly pushes back but not before giving her a harsh glare. “I mean it. Don’t fucking test me.”
And then he’s back inside.
Kim’s chest rises and falls so fast, I’m afraid she’ll have some sort of a heart attack. Her pupils are dilated as if she’s coming down from a high.
I rush to her and take her hands — shaking and sweating — in mine. “What happened? Are you okay? What did he do?”
“I’m fine.” Kim fakes a smile.
She needs to stop faking smiles when she’s this horrible at them.
“Kim!” I scold. “What the hell? You look on the verge of a breakdown.”
“It’s just Xander being Xander.” She waves her hand in dismissal and fixes the hem of her dark green dress. “I missed you.”
Her arms wrap around me. Even though I don’t want her to change the subject, I don’t pull away.
Kim takes shaky breaths and I realise how much she needs this hug. She’s a loner and I’m practically the only friend she has. Except for Kir, her family aren’t the affectionate type. I always feel like she needs human touch more than anything. She’s just not so good at expressing her needs.
“I’m here for you, Kim. You know that, right?”
She nods into my neck without saying anything.
When she finally steps back, a reluctant smile is plastered on her face. “How about you? Are you okay?”
I FaceTimed with Kim and told her all about Aiden’s engagement with Silver, my father, Knox, and Teal.
Every time she tried to ask me about my feelings considering Aiden’s engagement, I shut down and ended the conversation.
I knew she’d bring it up again when we met face-to-face.
“What are you doing here?” I try to deflect.
“Dad brought me. He’s all over fundraisers.” She pauses, narrowing her eyes. “You don’t get to change the subject.”