Yesterday was the day I read horror stories from women who also trusted birth control pills and got pregnant.
So last night, I pretended to be asleep when Cole snuck into my room. It didn’t stop him from hugging me from behind, wrapping himself around me.
I couldn’t sleep.
All I could focus on was his hand on my stomach as he slept.
My stomach.
I’m not stupid. I know that I can’t pretend to be asleep every night. Not only will Cole see straight through me, but he’ll also confront me. He’ll pick up on my mood changes.
And then what?
What if this nausea and the need to throw up isn’t normal? What if the pill has failed me and I fail myself and my parents and everyone else?
That’s off the table.
I stay in my car across from the pha
rmacy, wearing my huge sunglasses and watching my surroundings as if expecting a reporter to jump me.
I can almost imagine the headlines:
‘Spotted: Sebastian Queens and Cynthia Davis’s Daughter at a Pharmacy, Buying a Pregnancy Test.’
‘Scandal: Sebastian Queens and Cynthia Davis’s Daughter is Pregnant Before Marriage. The Father is her Stepbrother.’
I nearly throw up at that thought.
No.
I drive out from in front of the pharmacy and head to school, listening to my playlist with the volume turned all the way up.
My nerves are on the verge of spilling to the ground by the time I finish my first class. Cole keeps watching me, and I know, I just know he’ll pick up on it.
I have to do something.
For the rest of the day, I bide my time practising the piano in the most distracted way possible while forming my plan.
I wait until the end of the football practice to make my first move. For the first time in ever, Elsa isn’t with Aiden. Ronan mentioned something about how she was going to meet them in Aiden’s house so they could watch the game together.
Perfect.
I’m at the car park, standing by Aiden’s Ferrari. As expected, he comes out first, his hair still damp and his messenger bag slung carelessly over his shoulder. He hasn’t even bothered with wearing the jacket.
He’s like that when it comes to Elsa. Since she’s meeting him at his house, he’s skipping unimportant steps so he can get to her faster.
He dismisses me with an impatient hand. “Get out of my way, Queens.”
“I think I’m pregnant.”
He pauses his dismissal game and narrows his eyes on me before he returns back to his poker face. “Congratulations. I’ll send gifts. I won’t offer babysitting services, though.”
“I’m not kidding.”
“And I honestly can’t give two fucks. You made this mess. Clean it up.”
“What mess?” Cole’s voice rips me out of the moment like doom.