No, please NO!
I run to her, stumbling a few times. I crouch by the bathtub, my hands flat out shaking.
“Mae!” I slap her, but she shows no sign of consciousness. The water is too red. It’s the artery. Damn! My hands plunge in the water searching for her wrist. When I get it out, I don’t have to look at it, hypothermia in Mae’s skin takes over my attention. Is she nearing shock already?
“She saved us the trouble,” Aunt says from behind me.
“FUCK OFF!”
Get your shit together, Aaron. Mae needs your help.
I breathe in and out. Trauma case. Slit wrist. Go. I press my fingers to Mae’s neck. I only need a pulse. A tiny sign of life.
Mae isn’t dead. She can’t be.
My fingers tremble on Mae’s cold skin. My frantic heartbeat is so loud in my ears, I’m afraid I won’t sense that little shred of life in Mae.
“Leave her be,” Father says. “What a lovely way to die. Look at all that blood, son.”
I pay them no attention and close my eyes. The fractions of seconds pass like a century before a tiny hope beats.
A pulse. It’s faint and barely distinguishable, but it’s there.
With a more steady hand, I run my fingers under her nose. A slow breath. Better than nothing. I take Mae’s wrist in my hand. The deep vertical line cuts into her flesh and straight to her bones.
Fucking hell.
I reach to the nearest towel, wrap it around the cut, and squeeze. The white material soaks instantly. I fetch another towel, secure it on the first, and keep the pressure.
I free one of my hands and dial Kane. “Have a car in front of my quarters now!”
The phone falls from my fingers as I reach for Mae. I get her out of the appalling blood pool. My heart almost stops beating at her frozen skin and hardly existent heartbeat. Keeping a hand on her wrist, I wrap her in a dry bathrobe, pick up my medical kit, and run downstairs.
“Come back from wherever you are, Mae,” I whisper, focusing on her lifeless face. “I’m the one who’s supposed to leave, not you.”
After what seems like hours, I settle in the back seat with Mae, Kane is driving.
He glances at me then at Mae. “Is she—”
“Alive. Our private clinic. Quick.”
Once the car moves, I throw a bandage over the towels. The bleeding should’ve stopped already. Yet, Mae’s still losing blood. At this rate, exsanguination is right around the corner. Rummaging through my kit, I position Mae’s injured arm up, then wrap a tight tourniquet around it. With my other hand, I apply pressure to the tip of the forearm in an automatic procedure to stop wrist bleeding. The blood stops flowing after a while.
I release a deep breath. It should be good. The radial artery hasn’t been entirely severed. Yet, hypothermia is still lingering under Mae’s skin like a vengeful ghost, waiting to lure her to the other side. Her lips turn a frightening blue and an uncontrollable shivering takes over her body.
Too much blood loss. Soon there will be shock. Her scarcely beating heart will stop altogether. Then her brain cells will die too...
“FUCK!” I interrupt my thoughts, my free hand reaching for Mae’s. I massage her frozen skin. There’s nothing I can do except lean closer to her face. My trembling breaths caress her inert skin. “Please don’t leave, Mae. This is a worse fate than anything I’ve experienced.” Wetness stings my eyes, I don’t realise they’re tears until saltiness seeps into my mouth.
What is this feeling? This... this complete vacancy? It’s like having one’s organs plucked one by each bloody one. First the liver, then the pancreas, the lungs, the brain and finally the heart.
I can’t lose Mae. It’s a synonym for losing what remains of myself. What have I done? Why did I bring her to my hell? Why did I have to be so fucking selfish to destroy both of us? Who cares if it’s in my nature?
When the car stops, I dash inside the ER. Soon after, an emergency team surrounds me.
“A cart!” I shout, and the nurses roll a bed towards me.
That’s when I let Mae’s body go, settling it on the cart. Yet, I don’t stand there, I run alongside the nurses and the doctors, barking with a clear voice that doesn’t match my internal chaos. “Female. Early twenties. Blood type A, RH negative. No medical history. No allergy to any medication. Bradycardia, pulse less than 50 and temperature is below 36. She needs perfusion immediately. I applied a tourniquet seven minutes ago to stop the bleeding.”