“Oh, it was wonderful.” This time she did look at him, and the melting expression in her coffee-colored eyes revived the hope that withered when she said she renounced her love. “He was a very good kisser, and he made her laugh. She felt like such an attractive, sophisticated lassie, to have this wild boy in her thrall, just for her own pleasure and not with any view to forever.”
“Speak for yourself.”
Elspeth ignored that. “However, this delightful interlude came to a nasty end when their harmless flirtation became public knowledge.”
“Nasty?” Every muscle in his body tensed. She’d used the word before. He hadn’t liked it then. He didn’t like it now. “You mean my proposal?”
“Yes,” she said, taking his hand again. If she damn well meant to send him on his way, she shouldn’t touch him. But he couldn’t resist curling his fingers around hers. “The rake turned out to be a man of honor, and he asked the shy girl to marry him because he thought he’d compromised her reputation.”
“And she told him no.” That wound still ached.
“She couldn’t see why a little Christmas cheer should decide their whole future.”
“It decided mine,” he said flatly.
She squeezed his hand. “She knew the young man had singled her out because she was the lone unattached lady in the party, and even then, only because her clever friend had changed the way she looked.”
He shot her a furious look. “You must ken that’s not true.”
“I do now.”
“Elspeth—”
“Please let me finish.”
“Very well.” He clung to her hand the way a drowning man clutched at a piece of driftwood, trying to snatch one more breath before he went under.
In the distance, he heard Jock lead Fergus’s horse out to the yard. He and Elspeth were now alone in the vast stables, with only equine witnesses to whether the next few minutes ended in heartbreak, or life with the woman he loved.
“It was even worse than that.” For the first time, her steady calmness faltered.
“How could it be worse?” he muttered.
Her mouth turned down. “It was worse because the girl had been lying to herself the whole time.”
“Had she?”
“Yes. It turned out love isn’t that easy to banish, after all.”
“It’s not?” His pulse starting to race, he sat up straight and stared into her face.
She shook her head. “No. She’d told herself that what she felt for the handsome lad was puppy love.”
“It wasn’t?”
“No. Our heroine was really in love.”
Elspeth loved him? Was that what she was saying? She was going about all this in such a roundabout way, he still wasn’t sure.
“Mo chridhe…” He reached for her, but she released his hand and stood up.
“Brody, I need to tell you this.” She held her hand out in appeal. “You asked me last night why I said no to your proposal.”
The temptation to catch her up against him was nigh overwhelming. He lowered his arms and forced himself to stay patient. After all they’d been through, he knew better than to bully her into doing what he wanted. Even with kisses. And she still hadn’t said the words he ached to hear, however close she verged to them.
“So why the devil did you refuse me?” Her story left him more baffled than he’d been before he’d heard it. “Seems a boneheaded thing to do, if I want you and you want me.”
“I thought you were only indulging in some idle amusement, before you go back to your usual entertainments.”