“Believe me, it’s not gratitude I’m after,” Raven informed her, and as he strode out the door, he was glad she couldn’t see the width of his grin.
Chapter Sixteen
September 1863
Raven brought the tub and several pails of hot water, then left the cabin while Eden bathed. She washed her hair, then remained in the tub to soak while the water cooled. It had distressed her that she had been unable to enumerate at least a few favorable characteristics when she had described Raven to her father. Now she was sorry she had failed to mention he had always been a gentleman when it came to assuring her comfort and privacy.
A review of the days they had spent together at Briarcliff quickly brought to mind the admirable fact her husband had assured his tenant farmers he would not raise their rents. He had also insisted quite forcefully that Paul Jessup take better care of his family. How could she have forgotten those actions when they so clearly illustrated the goodness of his character?
Asking her to pretend she was John Rawlings’s sweetheart had shown Raven had a regard for the members of his crew she knew many captains lacked. Surely if she had had time to tell her father about the baby, she would have remembered Raven’s promise to be the best of stepfathers too.
Ashamed of her negligence, she quickly left the tub, wrapped herself in a towel
, and using the pen and ink in Raven’s desk, began to make notes in the back of her diary. She would keep a running list of every worthwhile activity her husband undertook so she would not be at a loss for reasons to praise him in the future.
When Raven could not stand to be away from Eden for another minute longer, he was dismayed to find her taking such poor care of herself. “This cabin is far too cool for you to wear no more than a towel,” he scolded crossly.
Eden closed her diary and replaced his pen and ink in the desk. “I wanted to write myself a note. I’m finished,” she remarked with a smile, hoping she did not look as guilty as she felt at having him catch her at it.
Raven had already reached for another towel and stepped behind her to dry her dripping curls. “I mean it, Eden. You’ve got to be more concerned about your health.”
Eden had not even noticed the chill in the air until Raven had complained of it. She leaned back against him now and enjoyed his warmth while he continued to blot the last of the moisture from her hair. He could be very gentle and sweet at times, and she knew she ought to have remembered that too.
“Now hurry and put on a nightgown,” he ordered just as sternly. “I’m going to fetch more hot water for my bath.” Raven tossed the damp towel on a handy peg on his way out the door. He then had to stop and catch his breath before going up the companionway. When Eden was such an alluring woman, why had he not realized drying her hair would only fuel his desire? This was just another example of his usual lack of foresight where she was concerned, and angered by his own stupidity, he stomped off to get the water.
As soon as Raven had poured the fresh water into the tub, Eden came forward to help him remove his coat.
“I’ll help you undress if you like,” she offered graciously.
“No, you needn’t bother. Just get into bed.” Raven brushed her hands aside and turned his back on her. He had the evening planned down to the last second, and he didn’t want her upsetting those plans with the enticing ways that would swiftly make him lose all control of his senses. He’d vowed not to behave like the love-crazed idiot he had been the last time they had made love, but he would not be able to be otherwise if she touched him now.
Eden took one look at the rigid set of Raven’s shoulders and backed away. She had thought he wanted to make love, but that icy rebuff chilled her ardor more thoroughly than the cool temperature of the cabin. Her feelings hurt again, she turned away and got into the bunk as she had been told. She pulled the covers up to her chin and hoped she would be sound asleep before Raven came to bed.
Raven hung his coat over the back of his chair, yanked his shirt off over his head, then sat down to pull off his boots and socks. His pants soon joined the heap of discarded clothes, and in less than a minute he was seated in the tub. He washed his hair, scrubbed himself clean, and was out of the water and dry in less time than it took Eden to make herself comfortable. He then joined her in the narrow bunk, swept her curls aside, and began to playfully nuzzle her nape with a flurry of eager kisses.
Eden had expected to be ignored, not ravished, and completely confused, she sat up abruptly. Raven had left the lamp burning low, and she could see his smile plainly, but was determined for once not to be influenced by it. “I’m trying my best to understand you so we can live in something approaching harmony, but when you shove me aside one minute then grab me the next, I don’t know what to make of you.”
While Raven had to agree his actions did seem contradictory, he knew in truth they were not. Rather than protest her accusation, he reached for her wrist, and with a gentle tug pulled her back down into his arms. There was no way he would admit his need for her was becoming an obsession he could neither explain nor control.
“I want you,” he whispered against her mouth, which was set in a fetching pout. His lips brushed hers lightly as he shifted his position to trap her beneath him where she could not escape him again.
Making a list was going to prove pointless, Eden decided. It would be of no use to keep track of Raven’s good deeds when his erratic behavior would erase them faster than she could write. She had promised herself to never again allow thoughts of Alex to fill her mind when she lay in Raven’s arms, but she had never missed the dear man more.
Raven propped himself up on his elbows so he could study Eden’s expression since she was not usually so quiet. Her golden eyes appeared a soft brown in the dim light. She was looking directly up at him, but he doubted she saw him when her gaze seemed focused many miles away. Unable to hide his disappointment, he reminded her harshly, “You promised me a reward.”
His deep voice jarred Eden from her reverie, but she was only dimly aware of his words. “You must want me all the time, Raven, not merely when the whim strikes you,” she complained wistfully.
Raven groaned in despair “There’s not a second of the day that I don’t want you,” he admitted before he could stifle the impulse. “But I had to risk getting us all killed to win your promise you’d want me.”
That was the first time Raven had even hinted that he cared for her. Responding with the unabashed delight that had made her the belle of Richmond, Eden could not resist teasing him. “And what about the nights?” she asked in a seductive purr.
A bright sparkle now lit her eyes with a mischievous gleam, and that she so clearly wanted him too kept Raven from feeling she was making fun of him. No other woman had ever dared tease him, and he was amazed to find that he liked it coming from Eden. “The nights,” he confided in a husky whisper that was flavored with his own sense of humor, “would be worse torture than the torments of hell without you.”
Eden favored him with a bewitching smile before she laced her fingers in his damp curls to draw his mouth to hers. Her tongue swept his mouth slowly, and this time when he groaned softly, she knew it was not prompted by frustration but by desire. She pulled him closer still, anxious to savor more of his delicious taste and slow, sweet affection.
The amorous couple kissed until they were both so breathless they had to stop for a moment. “My gown,” Eden murmured softly, and Raven, no longer fearing she might elude him, moved aside momentarily to help her discard it. She then returned to his arms before he could reach for her. She had forgotten their bargain. She wanted him for the pleasure they had always shared, not because of a promise she had been forced to give.
The cabin was too cool, and the bunk far too narrow, for the way Raven truly wished to make love, but he knew those constraints would no longer hinder him once they reached Jamaica. They would again have wide, comfortable beds, and the gloriously warm nights that would allow them to give their passions free rein. With the exotic memories of his island home in mind, he made love to Eden with a newfound tenderness that thrilled her as deeply as it did him.