His brows drew together. “She does challenging things. Pianoforte, for example.”
It was Mary’s turn to lean across the desk. “The thing she doesn’t think she’s very good at? That is going to make her more confident? Less afraid?”
Bloody hell, that was a rather good point. His insides relaxed a hair. “What will then?”
Mary shrugged. “That’s what I need time to discover.” She gave him a hopeful smile. “Do you think I could have her in the afternoons?”
His mouth dropped. “All afternoon?” He shook his head. What had he done?
She squared her shoulders. “What did you have in mind?”
“I don’t know. Between pianoforte and Latin.” He waved his hand. “In other words, when she isn’t in other lessons.”
Mary cocked her head to one side. “You want to fill more of her schedule? Do you think by doing so, she won’t have time to be frightened? And honestly, you’ve hired me on a temporary basis to prove myself but don’t want to give me any time to actually do the job. I’m destined to fail.”
That irritated him. Mary might look like a slender flower but she was acting like a prickly thorn bush. He leaned down to make certain his eyes were level with hers. “You’ve been in my employ for less than a minute and you’re already insulting my parenting?”
Chapter Three
Mary realized her mistake and she drew back from the desk as though the wood had scalded her. “Apologies, my lord.” She dipped into a curtsey. “I am used to being a member of the family.” She’d have to learn to be an employee. But if she were going to help Anne, Lord Sinclair would also have to figure out how to hand over some measure of control. His ways weren’t working. “If you would see fit to keep me in your employ, even for this trial basis, I can assure you, I will learn my place.” If he fired her, she’d have to crawl back to her aunt and uncle’s home. She’d be a failure in every way then. Unwed and unemployable. She’d grown accustomed to the fact she wouldn’t have a fairy-tale ending but was she doomed to be a complete failure in life? If only her tongue were less sharp. But she could hardly change who she was now. And perhaps her strength would benefit Anne.
“It’s not my feelings I’m concerned about, but my daughter’s. The question is, can you help her?” He scrubbed his neck, his features tight with worry.
She pressed her hands down her skirts, brushing out the invisible wrinkles. She was a Chase woman through and through and her opinions could be overwhelming at times. She’d have to work harder to keep them in check. This wasn’t the first time it had gotten her into significant trouble. “I can, my lord. After everything I’ve been through, for better or worse, it’s only made me less compromising. Stronger. It’s that kind of strength Anne must find within herself.”
He came around the desk and another fear caused her to take a half step back. Without the desk between them, he seemed even larger. Long, powerful legs and a lean torso making his
shoulders seem even broader. She cleared her throat, attempting to remove a lump.
“There’s no need to be nervous. I consider myself a fair and reasonable man.” He reached out to her and then dropped his hand again.
“That’s very generous.” She tightened her fingers in the fabric while looking over his shoulder rather than directly at him. It occurred to her again that this interview was a mistake. So she had to return home? She’d be safe from this attraction and her own flaws that always seem to crop up and cause problems for her. But then what? Live the rest of her life as a guest in her uncle’s home with no purpose in life? “Thank you.”
He nodded quickly. “I shall see you tomorrow then.”
“Tomorrow,” she murmured before turning to flee. That was the only word for her spinning exit.
Back in her uncle’s carriage, she slumped down into the seat. The little girl was delightful. Mary would truly enjoy trying to help the child. But Lord Sinclair… Sin, she’d heard Darlington and Lord Viceroy call him, he was…distracting.
A very handsome distraction. Her eyes drifted closed. Only one other man had ever tempted her the way Sin had. The honorable Harold Marksby, son of the Earl of Everly and her fiancé. He’d been tall and so broad in the shoulders that she’d made a habit of tracing the outline of them from his neck down to his arms.
She sighed to herself. She’d allowed Harold all sorts of liberties because of those shoulders. And, of course, because of his proposal. Once they’d been engaged to be married, well, they’d been granted time alone. She brought her hands up to cover her face. Thinking back on it, she wished she’d allowed him more. They’d kissed and touched and teased in ways that had made her ache.
Unfortunately, he had little inheritance of his own and wanting to provide for her, he’d left for the army. That’s when her Chase temper had gotten the best of her. She’d railed at him. She’d rather be poor and have him at her side than be rich with him gone to France. But he shook his head and told her that she didn’t understand a man’s job. He was the provider. How could he be her husband if he didn’t provide?
She’d hit him in the chest, rather hard, and asked how he planned to provide if he was gone?
That was the last words they’d spoken. In the end, she wished she’d been more flexible and given herself to him, wished that she’d kissed him farewell with tears in her eyes and proclaimed her undying love. Instead, she’d sent him off with angry words and hurt feelings. What a fool she was.
And she’d nearly lost her position today. But she’d been granted just enough time to prove herself, her worth. She leaned her head against the wood frame of the carriage. Years had passed since she’d lost Harry. She’d mourned his death for a long time. Been too grief stricken to move on. She no longer felt sad about Harry. Instead, she wished she’d listened to her aunt when she’d urged her to rejoin society to go out and find another man to wed.
Because Mary would have no husband now, no family of her own. A woman of four and twenty was firmly on the shelf. But she could still be useful. Have purpose. It was some consolation. Soon her cousins would start having babies. Once Anne no longer needed her, she could go work for one of them to help to raise their children.
That made her sit back up. She had a plan and it was a good one. The best she could do.
The carriage pulled up to her aunt and uncle’s drive just as another carriage rolled in behind her. Peeking out of the curtain, she smiled as she saw Lord Viceroy’s carriage. Her cousin, Ada, had come to visit.
Mary gave a small clap as she exited the carriage and stood on the path to wait for Ada to exit. Her cousin was a quiet and thoughtful woman, unlike most of the Chases, who would surely have advice for Mary on how to be her most subdued self. She needed to keep her tongue in check, at least for the next few weeks until she was given the position full time.