Earl of Gold (Lords of Scandal 7)

“Nonsense. They weren’t much trouble until you—”

“So it’s my fault?” He leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees.

“Trouble does seem to follow you. I’m sure once you cease to visit, life will return to normal, and I’ll be able to move us very soon. With the funds I secured today—”

“Cease to visit?” Those words cut into him. “You don’t want me to come to your home anymore?”

There was a heavy pause as she drew in a breath. “You’ll have your club soon enough. Why would you continue to help us? That’s why you only wanted to give me a single sum isn’t it? To be rid of me as quickly as possible.”

He winced in the dark. She had him there. He reached out a hand, wanting to touch her while he explained.

But she snatched her fingers away.

“It isn’t like that.”

“How is it then?” Her voice rising like he’d never heard before. “You desperately wished to help the little urchins? I don’t believe it.”

He scrubbed his head. “Natty—”

She slapped her knee. “You don’t get to use her name.”

He drew back, surprised by the hurt that laced her words.

Logan understood. Penny felt used. Hell, he had used her. At least in the beginning. He’d seen her as another means to an end.

But a shift had happened because of her and he didn’t know how to explain that to her. That she’d changed him. That he wanted to make her happy and help her and support the children and…

What was happening to him?

The ton hadn’t hated him because he was more successful. Even among the most selfish, he’d been consumed by greed and his own needs.

Shame filled him. It was as though Penny had tilted his entire world. But the words stuck in his throat. To admit them was to open the dam of emotions that he’d so carefully tucked away. And once he started, how much would he say?

Would he confess that he cared deeply? That she had the power to break him into a thousand tiny pieces? He couldn’t. He wasn’t ready. “However angry you are with me, it doesn’t change the fact that I can make all your lives better and safer. Please allow me to do this for you and for them.”

His words were met with complete silence.

Was that good or bad?

She’d stopped yelling but somehow Logan wasn’t certain that she had agreed.

“Please.” He leaned forward again, scooting to the edge of his seat. He didn’t reach for her hands this time but instead touched her knee. “You’ve every right to be angry with me.”

“You kissed me,” she blurted. “When all I am to you is an obstacle to overcome in order to gain a seedy club. You knew how I felt about men using me and yet you…”

He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself.” He cleared his throat, part of him wanting to admit everything. That he’d already made his choice. Penny. But once he’d told her, he’d have to admit he was falling in love. He couldn’t. Once he’d said it, there’d be no taking the words back.

“That is the worst excuse I’ve ever heard.”

“You kissed me back,” he said, tossing himself back into the seat. “What’s your excuse?”

“I—” The single word cut through the air. “Have been nothing but clear as to what I gained from this relationship. You are the one who’s been duplicitous.”

“That’s not entirely true.” He shook his head as though she might see the gesture. “I never lied to you about my motives.”

“But your actions made me think you cared about us. About the kids.”

“I do care,” he said, so low that he wondered if she heard him. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I didn’t at first. But somewhere along the way…”