He didn’t touch her, but she stiffened away slightly, her irritation rising to the surface. “I’m not tired.” The truth was, she was exhausted. Deep-down-to-the-bone tired. But she didn’t wish to admit such a weakness now.
She reached for the rail, her hand wrapped about it, her grip tight. With her sisters, she’d always been the accommodating one. The one who smoothed, who compromised.
But if she took that role now, with Brandon, that would be her life. She’d never escape it.
“Humor me then. Tomorrow, or rather today, is going to be a busy day and—”
“Why?” she asked, turning then. Standing on the deck he was even more handsome. He’d changed from his evening wear and he wore the casual clothes of a sailor as the wind ruffled his hair.
She was in her ballgown still with a pelisse meant to be pretty rather than warm. Even in her gloves her hands were half frozen.
He looked so strong and…warm. Her resolve faltered. It would be so easy to fall into his arms. Let him and his strength carry her away.
He was the sort who would do it. He’d shield her for her entire life. Did she need that sort of protection?
And what of him?
She’d hesitated because she wasn’t certain she was the best choice for him either. What if her weakness caused
them both heartache?
“Emily.” He stepped closer then. “I thought we might marry today.”
She blinked several times. “Marry? Today? But…” She shivered, the cold air on her skin not the primary reason for the reaction, but he slipped his coat off and pulled it tight around her shoulders. Heat and his scent wrapped about her.
“I know it’s sudden, but the captain can officiate and—”
“No,” she answered. “I don’t think this is a wise plan.”
He drew back a bit. “We’ve sailed off together. It’s the only plan.”
Her eyes narrowed as she tilted her chin. She knew she looked like Eliza but…her sister did some things very well. “It is not.”
“What else might you do?” His arms crossed as he made a point of looking down at her. Or perhaps that was just his height.
“My aunt is here. I’m chaperoned. And if society doesn’t accept that, I could become a spinster. I could—”
She did not imagine the way his jaw clenched. “You would rather be a spinster than marry me?”
That made her gasp. That wasn’t what she meant at all. “I would rather assert myself than be forced into something. We need to make these decisions together. You’re talking not just about the events of today, but about my entire life. Our entire life. I’m tired of everyone telling me what to do all the time without consulting me.”
He winced and then scrubbed his face. “I see.”
Had she just wounded him? He’d sounded hurt, his voice tight. “Things are always happening to me. Tonight. I’ve not made a single choice.”
He slid a hand under her elbow. “I didn’t mean to take your choices away.” A muscle in his jaw ticced. “I’m sorry that I did.”
She shook her head, her own hands coming up to rub her temples. “You’re right. I am tired. Perhaps we should discuss this after some rest?”
“Of course,” he answered. He pulled her closer and his lips just brushed her temple. “Let me show you to your cabin.”
She let out a breath as she nodded. He held her elbow as they crossed the deck and then lifted her into his arms to carry her below deck.
Their bodies pressed together and even as tired as she was, hers shuddered at his touch, his body sending ripples of awareness through her.
It made her forget why she was resisting.
He was a duke, for heaven’s sake.