“No,” the single word popped out of her mouth before she could think it through.
His eyes widened. “You’re telling me that you are not the Clarissa who cared for soldiers in the basement of a church in Dover during the war?”
She bit her lip. She’d dreamed of meeting this man again. But what if he were the author of those notes here to collect?
Her stomach turned. A million times she’d wished for this reunion, prayed for it.
But he couldn’t be the person who’d wrote those letters, could he? He was an earl and he’d donated to the charities. Why would he need to blackmail her?
Relief made her limp. But still. She had to end this meeting quickly. The Earl of Baxter already knew too much about her past.
And yet, her life wasn’t just about her anymore. Even if it were sheer coincidence that he’d arrived now, every one of his friends had donated to her cause. Large sums of money were going to Penny and her to build multiple orphanages. And she intended to build her life over again. Make herself a new person. A person who orphans should trust with their futures. But this man was from her past. The past where she’d done awful things. What would happen if they knew they were entrusting their money to a thief? “I am not.”
His eyes crinkled. “I don’t believe you.”
Her breath caught. It was all beginning to make sense. The intensity of his gaze. The way he’d jumped into her carriage. He knew about her past. Or parts of it. Not her own sins. And he could never know about that.
This was the man she’d dreamed of marrying. He’d been the center of every romantic fantasy she’d ever had in her life. He was…everything.
How would he react if he discovered she was little more than a common thief? She’d stolen from the collection tray, taken from the priest’s personal possessions. That money had gotten her and Penny back to London from Dover. But her thieving hadn’t ended there. She’d even stolen food a time or two when she and Penny had been near starvation.
He saw her as the girl who’d cared for him. But what if he knew the whole truth? What would he think of her then? It was better that he never knew who she really was. She could begin fresh and he would remember her as the girl who cared for him. Nothing more and more importantly, nothing less.
“Is that what you wished to ask?” she couldn’t look at him as she spoke. Part of her even now wished to confess that it had been her. A voice inside her begged to toss herself across the carriage and into his arms. “You’ve got your answer. Thank you very kindly for your aid. Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s my friend’s wedding and—”
The door of the carriage yanked open and suddenly Logan filled the doorway. Without a word, he grabbed Baxter by the collar and began hauling him from the carriage.
Baxter grabbed the door frame, stopping Logan from pulling him all the way out. “Settle down,” he called to Penny’s new husband.
He knew he was about to take a beating. That was fine. But he wasn’t ready to leave Clarissa’s company. He’d waited too long to find her again.
In response, Logan reared back and landed his fist directly in Baxter’s face. He took the shot without saying a word and with only the smallest grunt of pain.
“Stop,” a third male voice boomed. “He’s an idiot, not a danger.”
Baxter grabbed his face, falling back on the floor of his carriage and Clarissa couldn’t help herself. She dropped to her knees next to him, pulling his hands from his face. “Let me look.” It was the perfect excuse to caress him.
Her touch was light as she slowly moved his hands. One of his eyes was already turning a rainbow of colors where Logan had hit him. But men didn’t die from black eyes.
“I had that coming,” Baxter said on a sigh. His face was drawn into deep lines of regret.
“There now,” she shushed softly, still holding his hands. “You’re all right.” She’d like to stay there forever.
But her words didn’t seem to soothe him. In fact, he turned to granite under her touch. He sat up, nearly knocking his head into hers. “What did you just say?”
She dropped his hands, her limbs falling like dead weights in her hands. “What do you mean?”
“I know it’s you…” His voice was so quiet that shivers of fear made her shoulders curl in. She had to hide. That was a strange feeling for her. Clarissa never hid from anything. Except from this. No one could know how she escaped from that priest all those years ago.
Then a new thought occurred to her. If her captain discovered she was a thief, would he pull their funding? She wanted to believe he would never, but then again, it was large sums and she…wasn’t truly worthy. Not yet. She would be someday but, in the meantime, this man could send her entire life crashing at her feet.
Chapter Three
Mason grabbed her hands in his, confusion clouding his mind even as his heart pumped wildly. Why had she lied to him? Did she not remember him? Not recognize his title? “Clarissa,” he said as he leaned forward. Bash was arguing with Goldthwaite even as the girls on the bench began to cry. “Tell me the truth.”
Goldthwaite and his bride stood just outside the carriage, his brother just behind them. He heard the other woman gasp.
“I’m not who you’re looking for,” she cried as she tried to pull her hands away. “Please. Let go.”