Earl of Baxter (Lords of Scandal 8)

Her fingertips tingled as they skimmed his body. Was she allowing the tension that crackled inside her to coerce her decisions? She wanted to be near him. She couldn’t deny that fact.

Clarissa wanted to bel

ieve him when he said she’d saved his life. Because that changed everything.

She straightened, eyeing the fresh white bandages wrapped about his middle. They looked wholesome except for the blood that was already seeping through the one side. She winced as she gently pulled the blankets over him.

“I’ll be back in the morning to check on him,” the doctor said. “Can I leave him in your capable hands?”

Part of her was tempted to say no. Someone else should be in charge of keeping him alive. But who? She’d done it before, and she would do it again. “I’ll do my best.”

“I’ll be fine. Thank you, Doctor.” Mason reached for her hand and laced his fingers through hers.

“You don’t know that,” she said the moment the door clicked closed. “What if you’re not all right? What if an infection sets in again?”

He tugged on her hand, pulling her closer. “You’re right. It’s a possibility to be certain. And if I die, it won’t be your fault. People die. It’s part of life.”

She drew in a sharp breath. An acidic sensation spread through her stomach, the idea of Mason dying too sad for her to register. “Your death would be directly the fault of several of my actions.”

“Clarissa.” He tugged again, and she found herself sitting next to him, her hip pressing against his, his heat seeping into her side. “You didn’t shoot me. In fact, if we’d like to be technical, you shot the man who shot me.”

She winced, her heart thudding in her chest. It hurt her to think of hurting another person no matter the circumstances. “Do you think I killed him?”

“No,” he soothed. “But I can tell you when I think of you running an orphanage, those children will be lucky to have someone who can defend them.”

Those words soothed like a balm to her raw insides. “Really? I didn’t think of it like that.”

“I saw you holding Natty. In the church. It made me ache because I could remember the way your fingers felt stroking my skin. It helped the broken parts inside me heal.”

How did he know she’d needed to hear those very words? For years, she’d needed them. “I want to help people.”

“I know you do, sweetheart,” he answered, his voice smooth and so easy. “Now. Would you consider allowing me to help you to help others?”

“How?” she asked. A tremble ran down her spine and she found herself leaning closer. She needed to touch him. It was like his heat and strength soothed her most open wounds.

He reached up and cupped her cheek. “Marry me.”

“What?” That made her try to draw back, but his hand held her firm. “You don’t want me…”

“I do,” he said. “I told you. I believed I was worthless until I met you. You showed me another way.” His fingers tightened. “And now that you’re grown…” He paused. “I know you feel the connection between us.”

A lump formed in her throat and she swallowed it down, blinking back emotion. “Mason.”

“Listen,” he whispered. “I might die. If I do, I have a fortune, Clarissa. You could use it to fund all the orphanages you want. Think of it this way. My father, who thought I wasn’t worth the air I breathed, would have created the largest social project in all of England. That would be the perfect justice.”

Despite her worries, Clarissa smiled at that. “I suppose it would be justice for me too. My father thought I ruined his life. Imagine if I saved so many others.”

He squeezed her fingers. “He was wrong. Worse, he was selfish. You didn’t ruin his life, he did that himself and then used you as a scapegoat.”

Something in those words made her think as she never had before. Had her father been lashing out for his own failures? She’d never been able to ask. He’d taken his own life just before the creditors had taken everything else.

If her neighbor hadn’t taken her to the church, she might have been one of the assets carted off. “Do you really think that?”

“I do. Just like I think that my father hated my life because I was a reminder of his weakness.”

She nodded. That made sense. “And so you think we should marry so that I have access to your fortune in case you die?”

“That’s right.”