After all we had done—I mean I let him tie me to the bedpost for fuck’s sake—we agreed a holiday fling, three nights... Was I really so awful he couldn’t face a second?
‘Hey, what’s wrong?’
I refocus on Coco and the reignited frown she’s sending me.
‘Nothing.’
I know I don’t fool her; her eyes are full of concern as they scan my face.
‘Look, let’s go out tonight!’ she suddenly pipes up, all cheery, and I realise with relief that she’s totally misread my sudden pause. ‘It’ll be just like old times, though not quite...’ She gives me a wink and I know what she means. No, we’ll never be lovers again, that’s a dead cert, but we had fun back when we needed it, and we’re still best friends. We should be able to have fun, enjoy one another’s company, let our hair down and chill. ‘We can go to Blacks, have a few drinks and catch up properly?’
I know my skin instantly pales—Blacks. No way. My nails bite into my palms as I clench them into fists and I rack my brain for a get-out. ‘You want to go to a sex club to catch up?’
She giggles, her skin flushing pink. ‘Hey, at least we can talk there; the music is good and the cocktails can’t be beaten. Plus it holds plenty a good memory for me...and for you too.’
I chew the inside of my cheek, fighting back the wave of emotion that comes over me as she elbows me in the side, all light and carefree. ‘Come on, it’ll be fun—real fun. And Jackson might be there; it’ll be good to catch up with him.’
Good? I swallow. It’ll be anything but good.
‘I’m worried about him,’ she continues, seemingly oblivious to the tension she’s sparked. ‘I think Ash is too, although you know what men are like—they hardly wear their hearts on their sleeves. But he’s not been himself for ages. I don’t think it helps that Ash still hasn’t forgiven him for the cracking hangover he was sporting the day after our wedding either.’
‘Hangover?’ I say numbly.
‘Don’t tell me you didn’t notice? He barely spo
ke. He did an amazing job on the day—his Best Man speech was brilliant, had everyone in stitches. The next day he was like a zombie, hardly said a word. Don’t get me wrong, he chipped in and everything, helped organise people, but he was just...well, moody. He just wasn’t Jackson.’
‘Perhaps he was exhausted; it can’t be easy being the Best Man.’ I don’t know why I’m defending him. Maybe it’s because of the part I know I played. ‘All that responsibility, and the Maid of Honour gets off lightly by comparison.’
‘He didn’t make my birthday party either, remember? Some last-minute thing cropped up. I think Ash was more annoyed at that in truth. But we’ve invited him over and those times he has come I’ve ended up leaving them to it, hoping that with me out of the way he might open up to Ash.’
‘No joy?’
‘None. So, you see, going to Blacks is perfect. We get to spend time together and we get to grill Jackson like only a woman can. We’ll have him back to normal again in no time, I’m sure.’
‘Yeah, totally.’
‘You don’t sound convinced.’
‘I was thinking a light-hearted night of dancing, maybe some karaoke, not playing agony aunt to a brick shithouse who I’m sure can sort out his own crap.’
‘Hey, I thought you’d understand. You’ve always had a soft spot for him.’
Busted. I give a laugh that I hope isn’t as flustered as I think. ‘Yeah, in a fit-and-fun kinda way.’
She’s quiet. Too quiet. I keep on walking and scan the clothing store to our left. There’s a Christmas scene in the window, a mannequin family of four wrapped up all cosy as though they’re on their way to a party. The man’s tartan scarf has my mind veering sharply to another set of tartan—a certain cravat and kilt—and I immediately look to the woman instead. ‘That’s nice, don’t you think?’ I nod at the scarf she wears. ‘It would be perfect for Sally. You remember Sally, Joe’s wife?’
‘Are you changing the subject on me?’
‘No.’
She stares at me, probing, and I school my features before looking back to her, resigning myself to the evening ahead.
‘I’m not,’ I say, pulling her towards the shop entrance. ‘We’ll go to Blacks; it’s fine.’
Her smile lights up her face. ‘Excellent, I’ll see if Ash can come! We can have a proper get-together!’
‘I thought you were meaning just you and me.’