And she could only smile as he took her hand and led her into Lily’s room.
She was already in bed, the pillow up behind her, Baby Bear on her belly with her favourite book open and ready.
They climbed in, one on each side, and she looked from one to the other, her grin quite satisfied.
‘Happy?’ Jack said to her.
‘Yes, now I am. Aren’t we, Baby Bear?’
Sophia could feel Jack’s gaze on her, feel her own lips lift with a happiness she couldn’t contain.
‘You read, Sphea.’ Lily edged the book closer to her and snuggled in. ‘You can be my new mummy, can’t you?’
Her eyes shot to Jack’s, catching his sudden pallor and...what—panic?
‘I don’t think anyone can replace your mummy, darling.’
‘No, but I can have two mummies. People do, don’t they? I’ve seen it on TV.’
Sophia’s body relaxed a little, but Jack still looked like he’d seen a ghost.
‘True, very true,’ she said, kissing the little girl’s head and starting to read, hoping Jack would relax and Lily would be satisfied with her non-answer. This was what she’d been worrying about—Lily’s attachment, the what-if of it not working out, and having seen Jack’s face...
But he’d wanted her to stay with him tonight. Surely that meant he wanted more?
More what though? A relationship? Or sex? Was she just filling a hole in that part of his life? He’d been clear about his feelings towards Elena, his inability to love before.
Had she really just been so blinded by her own love?
Her stomach twisted, her throat closing over and straining her voice as she tried to read.
Lily yawned. ‘Daddy’s turn now.’
She looked to Jack, but his attention was on the foot of the bed, distant, wary.
‘Daddy?’ Lily nudged him and his eyes snapped to her.
‘What, monkey?’
‘Your turn.’ She passed him the book.
‘Ah...okay.’ He gave Sophia a quick look, a flicker of something in his gaze, and then his focus was on the book, his voice far more jovial than she knew he felt.
She should slip away now. Before he could hold her to her promise to stay. She started to move off the bed and felt his hand close around her own.
‘Stay, please.’
She looked back into his face and in that second she would have done anything he asked, because there was that look in his eye, the look she had come to depend on, the look that said he cared. Even if it wasn’t love, it was enough to keep her there, for now.
She settled back down and he pulled his arm around her and Lily, his hand coming to rest on Sophia’s shoulder, his thumb gently caressing her skin. He had to care for her.
He had to.
* * *
‘Sophia...?’
They were walking through the corridor that led from Lily’s bedroom to the living area, Sophia in front, him behind, and every part of him just wanted to reach out for her and pull her in. But he could sense she was trying to keep some distance. The fact she was walking ahead without even a backward glance was enough to tell him that.