Losing Control

Rose. My heart squeezes tight.

‘But what about me?’

‘What about you? You were gone, Cain—who knew how long for? Li

fe didn’t just go on hold when you walked out. And when they lost her...when they had to go through all that...they had each other. And I was glad of it because you were still gone. No word, nothing. We lost you and then we lost Rose too. And now your father and Liam.’

Her voice trembles and guilt swamps me. I abandoned them all for my own selfish reasons. It was unforgivable.

‘I came back, months later, but I came back.’

Mum sighs and drops down onto the sofa beside me. ‘I know you did. Alexa told me. She explained that you saw us...’

I look up to the mantelpiece on autopilot, but the picture isn’t there.

‘I’ve put it away,’ she says softly, guessing at my focus. ‘We’ve all made mistakes, Cain, but the truth is that Alexa loves you—and I think you love her too.’

She places her hand on my back and I realise I’m crying. I wipe my hand over my face as I turn to look at her.

‘But she said she wouldn’t marry without love again?’

She stares at me until realisation dawns—Lexi wasn’t talking about her lack of love for me, she was questioning my love for her.

‘Oh, God. I didn’t tell her. I didn’t say.’

Mum gives me a gentle nod; her smile one of understanding, of love and sympathy.

‘But how could she even doubt it,’ I say, ‘when I love her so much it hurts?’

‘After everything you’ve been through? You need to hear it from her lips as much as she needs to hear it from yours.’

Her words sink in and I replay my actual proposal, and Lexi’s reaction, again and again. I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been.

‘How the hell do I fix this?’

‘I don’t know, son.’ She leans into me, her head coning to rest on my shoulder. ‘But you two belong together. You’ll think of something.’

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

MONDAY MORNING COMES around all too soon, and the idea of walking into the office and knowing Cain will be there has me dragging my feet.

I’ve heard nothing from him since Saturday night—unless you count the apology Marie gave me on his behalf—and I have no idea how this is going to play out. But we have a job to do, a company to run, and that’s what gets me across the threshold.

He’s nowhere to be seen, though, and I’m hardly early. I figured arriving at nine would mean the office would be abuzz with people—an audience, a reason for me to act normal.

I dump my bag on my desk and then hesitate. Do I ask where he is? Or will that look like I’m checking up on him and arouse suspicion among the staff?

I turn on my computer and open up my email, my eyes flitting to the door in my continuing debate. I could ask Janice in passing if she’s seen him... Ask Sheila, perhaps...

My emails roll in and then I see it. His name. Sent at six-thirty this morning.

I stare at it, my cursor hovering, and then I open it, heart in mouth.

Alexa,

I have some business to take care of in the States. I’ll be gone a couple of weeks.

It will do us good to have some space.