‘Si,’ I say firmly, trying to calm my reaction. ‘The wedding just forced my hand.’
She eyes me with continued curiosity and I find myself elaborating. ‘Tuscany is the only place I’ve ever truly felt at home.’
I can’t believe I’ve admitted it, let alone said it out loud. What is wrong with me?
I clear my throat and move deeper into the room as I head for the breakfast that was sent up while I was in the shower. Not that I’m hungry. At least, not for food.
And it is the truth, Tuscany is the only place I’ve ever felt happy. But those days were so long ago, they almost feel like a dream. A dream that quickly morphed into a nightmare.
I sense her frown following me and I know she wants to probe further. Even I can feel the words rising up within me.
‘Dani never mentioned that you lived here.’
‘Can I get you something to eat, drink? I ordered plenty in case you hadn’t eaten.’
‘I’m okay, thank you.’
I pour the coffee and hear the click-clack of her sandals as she approaches, closer and closer. I keep my attention fixed on the coffee.
‘I wonder why she never said anything. It feels like a big—’
‘We left when I was seventeen.’
I flick her a look and see her eyes widen at my abrupt interruption. I wince into my coffee as I take it up, breathing in the familiar aroma and forcing my shoulders to ease and my voice to soften before I look back to her.
‘Dani was just a baby; it was never home for her.’
‘But the UK was?’
‘In the beginning, then the States.’ I sip my coffee and tell myself it’s okay to reveal this much, though I can feel my heart race and my discomfort rise. ‘We flitted between the two until she finally settled in the UK with our mother and completed her education.’
‘But you, where do you live? From what Dani tells me you spend your time hopping from country to country. Or are you saying this is it now, you live here? A secret hideout from your family once we all leave?’
Her smile blooms on the last question. She’s teasing me, trying to lighten the heaviness in the air, in me.
‘I hope so,’ I answer truthfully. ‘It will be nice to have more of a base. Much of my work can be done via technology these days; location isn’t so important.’
So long as Marianna steers clear. I travelled the globe distancing myself from my mother. I don’t plan to welcome her here once this is all said and done. She and her series of lovers and her ridiculous theatrics can stay well away.
‘I think it makes for a very beautiful home, all the more so with the memories of this week. Dani will love visiting you here...when you finally tell her.’
‘I will...after the wedding, when it’s too late for her to have a meltdown.’
‘She’ll only berate you out of love.’
Warmth floods my chest from nowhere and I smile. ‘Si, that much is true.’
The atmosphere changes, eases and she opens her mouth to say something and closes it again. I sense more probing. I don’t know what it is about her, or why I feel like the past is rising to the surface, but it has me needing to busy myself with something. Anything.
‘You sure I can’t offer you a coffee while we talk? A pastry, even?’ I swap my coffee for a cornetti and offer it to her. ‘These really are to die for, especially the cream-filled variety.’
‘No, I’m fine. And we really should talk about your mother.’
‘It’s still early.’ I hate the way my hackles rise with the mere mention of her. ‘Even my mother can’t have caused that much mischief by now that we need to get straight on it; she hasn’t been here a day yet.’
She gives a weak grimace.
Oh, Dio, here we go...