‘It’s still there, but it’s easier when you’re with me.’ He squeezes me against him tighter. ‘Does that sound weird?’ I ask.
‘No, it makes perfect sense.’
Does that mean he feels it too? Is that why he understands? I wish it could be that. I really do.
‘Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?’
‘Yes...but let’s get out of here first. I could do with a glass of wine in good company.’ I smile at him. When I contrast him to my company not one hour ago, I’m doing him a disservice. ‘Make that great company.’
I sweep my lips over his, a gentle kiss before moving away, but he pulls me back.
‘Coco?’
‘Hmm?’
His eyes are so sincere they tug at me, pulling on strings I’ve never felt before.
‘Just...’
I stare up at him, lost in his open expression, and then he shakes his head and grins.
‘Nothing. It can wait.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
MY BRAIN IS whirling on the drive back to my place. The vehicle is keeping my hands busy but my mind is so occupied by her.
She seems more settled than she was before. So settled that I think she’s likely to fall asleep before we make it back. She’s half curled up in the seat, her head turned to the side, her eyes flickering between me, her hands and the outside world.
But, Christ, when I first saw her, saw the trace of tears in her over-bright eyes, her smile so genuine, so relieved, I was unable to speak. I could only open my arms to her and hold her, kiss her back as she kissed me.
And then those three simple statements: I’ve missed you... I trust you... I need you.
I tighten my grip on the wheel as the words repeat through my brain, burning deep, as I remember my hunger, so possessive as I staked my claim.
I haven’t... I’ve never... Not since Jess—not since that relationship—have I trusted anyone enough to go without protection. It’s huge. Monumental. But it felt so right, so natural, and now inside me my confession is bursting to get out.
I almost told her, there in the basement car park. And what a disaster that would’ve been, hot off the back of what we’d shared. She might have legged it back up top, out onto the street, where Bower would have been lying in wait, ready to get whatever detail he could to report back to that bastard Philip Lauren.
No, the timing hadn’t been right. But, damn it, I want this all out in the open. I want to be there for her fully—no lies, no omissions.
I look across at her, see her eyelids heavy as she struggles to stay awake, and I stroke back the hair falling over her face. She gives me a small smile, which I return, and then her eyes are closed and I drop my hand back to the gear stick.
‘Nearly there,’ I say softly.
She gives a nonsensical response and cosies up deeper into her coat. She truly is at ease with me. And I would be the same if not for what I’ve kept from her.
I look back to the windscreen and focus on the drive, on something I do have control over in that second.
Just have faith. It will all come right in the end...
Yeah, because life’s kind like that...
But if I can just get her away from here, confront Philip Lauren when she’s safe from any immediate backlash on his part, deliver the threat of what I can do with the information I’ve gleaned and get him to call off Bower.
Because she doesn’t deserve it. She doesn’t deserve any of it.
And you don’t deserve her...