The Bride (The Boss 3)

I put a hand on his knee and gave it a little squeeze. “It isn’t that I don’t love Emma. I do. But it’s a little weird having to worry, in my own house, that I’m going to do or say something in front of her that makes her uncomfortable. Like the other morning, when we were in the kitchen.”

It had been a blissfully lazy Sunday, and I’d thought the coast was clear because Emma had stayed the night with Michael. Neil and I had just had fantastic morning sex, and we’d gone to the kitchen to put on some coffee. So, of course Emma would come home exactly when I was standing in the kitchen in one of her father’s t-shirts and nothing else, punching buttons on the needlessly complicated coffee maker. The fact that Neil had been standing behind me, his arms around my waist, clad in just his boxers and a smile was the icing on the uncomfortable cake. It wasn’t an abnormal interaction for a couple to have, but Emma had walked into the kitchen and right back out again, and disappeared for most of the day.

“I feel so guilty about touching you or kissing you in front of her, because I feel like it gives her the massive creep outs,” I finished, my frustration obvious in my tone. “I’m making her totally uncomfortable just by being your girlfriend, whether she admits that or not.”

Ashley nodded, her lips pursed. “Weren’t you two looking for a new place to live?”

“We were… I don’t know if we put that on hold…” Neil said, looking uncertainly to me.

“What happens if you do find a place to live?” Ashley went on. “Is the expectation that Emma will move in with you there? Or her and Michael both?”

“That’s not something I would be comfortable with,” I stated firmly, but I know my expression was totally apologetic as I shrugged. “That’s just how I feel, I’m sorry.”

“No, I would never have expected you to agree to that.” The fact that he even had to say that meant he’d thought about it. Yikes. “When we were looking for a new place, I’d assumed Emma would stay in the apartment after we moved. At least until she and Michael found a place of their own. That way, we would have some privacy, and so would they. But after our discussion at the lake…”

“What discussion was this?” Ashley prodded.

“We said no big life changes.” It sounded silly that we were sticking to that, considering he’d proposed to me just a few days later. “I guess that went out the window.”

“Marriage to each other will be a huge life change for both of you. Getting married is very high on the list of major life stressors. So is moving house. Unfortunately, if you want to do the former, and do it successfully, you might have to do the latter.” Ashley set her iPad aside, a signal that it was time to wrap up. “Before our next session, I’d like the two of you to brainstorm alternate living arrangements that everyone will be comfortable with. And Neil, talk to Emma about this privately. She may have concerns she feels she can’t share in front of Sophie.”

After our session, Neil dropped a check on the receptionist’s desk and we exited to the elevators. The doors had no sooner closed than he said, cautiously, “I haven’t been looking, I should make that clear. But when I called the agent to tell him we were no longer looking, he mentioned a listing in Sagaponack, and I said I would talk to you about it.”

“Wow. That far?” I knew we’d talked about not staying in the city permanently, but this came as a shock.

“I’d prefer something in Connecticut, but it does sound like an ideal home for us. We could fly out and look at it on Monday.” He straightened the cuffs of his jacket, eyes fixed on the numbers above the door. He hated elevators. “If we don’t care for it, nothing has to come of it. And you can pretend you’re on that wretched television program you so enjoy.”

Using House Hunters against me. The man knew my every weakness. “I do like looking at the insides of other people’s houses.” I paused. “Don’t you think flying is overkill?”

“We can charter a helicopter, it won’t be any trouble.”

You live in a world where chartering a helicopter isn’t any troub

le. And you’re taking that helicopter out to the house you’re looking at. In the Hamptons.

“Okay.” The realization had numbed me enough to agree. “Let’s go look at a house, then.”

I don’t know if talking through our issues and confronting them in a productive way gets us turned way the fuck on, or if we’re just so relieved that therapy is over for another week, but we were as giddy as two teenagers as we left the building. Some nights, we’d head straight back to the apartment to go at it like animals—very quiet animals, if Emma was home—but this time, we decided to make it a date night.

We went out to dinner at our new favorite restaurant, an experimental vegan place that was partially our favorite due to its proximity to our apartment. The atmosphere was upscale casual. Booths, but no decimals on the menu prices.

“You know, I was thinking,” I said during a lull in the conversation as we waited for our meals to arrive. “I wouldn’t mind if you saw Emir while you were in London.”

Neil’s half-smile flirted with his mouth, and he raised his water glass to disguise it. “Wouldn’t mind if I saw him, or…”

“Or.” I laughed and had to break eye contact. “Oh, please. It’s not like it’s any different than what we did before. And you like him.”

“Not in the romantic sense.” He was suddenly very serious. “I worry that an arrangement like this might lead to some…jealousy.”

I shook my head. “First of all, if I thought something more was going to go on, I wouldn’t have suggested it. And I wouldn’t have gotten engaged to you if I thought you were going to cheat on me.”

That answer seemed to satisfy him. “I know all this, of course; I don’t know why I’m worried.”

Maybe the gurgling in my stomach was hunger, but at the moment it felt like dread. “You were comparing me to Elizabeth again, weren’t you?”

“It’s not an easy mechanism to turn off, I’m afraid.” He sat back in his chair. “That’s the problem, I think. I am afraid. But only because I want this to be a successful marriage, Sophie. I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I reminded him happily. “See Emir in London, if he’s up for it. Honestly, I think it’s pretty awesome that we have a friend with benefits together.”