Emir came from the bathroom, bearing a stack of wet flannels, still folded. He knelt beside me on the bed to gently wash me. How strange, the way context shifts the meaning and associations of an act. Wh
en I’d been in the hospital, it had been another reminder of my lost dignity to be bathed by the nurses. Now, it was a relief to give up the responsibility, to let Emir care for me when I was far too tired to care for myself.
“Shall we go to the shower?” he asked, dabbing the sodden hair at the base of my cock with the last flannel. “Or perhaps I could join you in that lovely bathtub of yours?”
“No, if you don’t mind, I’d like to phone Chloe.” I knew what he meant to provide me. More tenderness, reassuring conversation, so that I wouldn’t be left with any confusion or doubt that could lead to sub drop. “It isn’t that I don’t appreciate the aftercare, but…”
“She can do it better,” he finished for me with an amused smile.
“Is that all right?” I wondered how I would feel if a sub refused aftercare. Negligent, at the very least. “If you need it, of course—”
“No.” He waved the suggestion away easily. “This was fun for me. But I think it was something much more between you and Chloe. You should call her.”
When he left the room, I picked up the cordless handset from the beside table and dialed our New York number. Sophie answered on the first ring. “Neil?”
“Yes, darling, it’s me.” I wondered, could she hear the relief in my voice that came from simply speaking to her?
“Is everything okay? How did things go?” I heard the descending volume of the television in the background.
“Wonderfully. It all went wonderfully.” The adverb was hardly sufficient to describe all that I’d experienced. “This trip has certainly given me some new perspective.”
“Wow, I’m glad to hear that. Perspective on what?”
On the fact that I’m only truly happy when I’m with you. On the fact that the world won’t stop turning if I surrender a modicum of control. On the fact that I never understood what I was making you feel, and now that I do, your submission is infinitely more precious to me.
Those weren’t the types of things to say on the phone from an ocean away.
“I’ll discuss it with you when I come home. I promise. Right now, you need to get your sleep, and I do, too.” There were too many hours between us. “When I get my hands on you, we’re going to make up for lost time.”
Her delighted squeal did something funny to my insides.
“I can’t wait,” she purred, a bit silly, a bit serious, entirely endearing.
An absence of noise alerted me that the shower was off, and I looked toward the bathroom door. “I must go, darling. Emir is still here, and I don’t want to be rude. I’ll see you tomorrow evening.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, Sophie.” In the most reckless way possible, I loved her.
A moment after we hung up, Emir stepped out of the bathroom, a towel tucked tight around his waist.
“God, your body is magnificent,” I said with a dismayed chuckle.
To my surprise, he blushed at the compliment and couldn’t meet my eyes. “How long are you in London?”
“Just until tomorrow. My flight leaves at three.” I swung my legs beneath the duvet. I could take care of the sex toys and incriminating wrappers in the morning. All I wanted was to settle in for the night. “And you? What do you have planned for this trip?”
“I will be here until Friday. My wife is flying into Heathrow.” A wistful note to his words echoed my own homesickness for Sophie.
“Separate holidays?” Was that too personal a subject? Less than twenty minutes ago, his cock had been in my ass; it didn’t seem as though a slightly more personal interest would be out of place.
“She is in Belize with her girlfriend.” He smiled sadly. “It is not an arrangement that always make me happy, but I am glad that she has so much love in her life.”
“I’m not sure I would be comfortable with Chloe having another romantic partner,” I admitted, though it felt a bit patriarchal and condescending. The thought of her having sex with another person didn’t bother me at all; I had quite liked watching Emir fuck her. But the mere suggestion of sharing her love brought with it a crippling insecurity that I couldn’t bear to contemplate.
“That is why you direct who she fucks?” Emir nodded in understanding. “I know she did not pick me out in the club.”
“On the contrary, she was quite attracted to you. But you are right, I made the final decision in that situation.” Sophie’s interest in him had caught my attention, but ultimately I’d been the one to suggest it go further. “I don’t know how you manage your arrangement with your wife, but I commend you for doing it and being so happy.”