I nodded, but everything was moving so fast.
“Do we need a cart?” someone called from the door. One of the officers sprinted back down the hall, probably to talk to them. Mom and Tony turned and left, and I went back to the bedroom.
Neil stood in the center of the room, in a t-shirt and sleep pants, his arms crossed in front of him as the gruff officer cuffed him.
“Is this really necessary?” Neil snapped. A sheen of sweat stood out on his brow, and I didn’t know if it was from having his hands bound or because of the pills he’d taken.
“He doesn’t like to have his hands…” I began, and he shot me a stone-cold glare.
This is all your fault, he may as well have said.
He was never going to forgive me.
The other officer returned. “Bus is here.”
“All right, Mr. Elwood, let’s go.”
“I don’t understand, is he under arrest or what?” I looked to the nicer cop to answer.
“He’s not under arrest,” he explained patiently. “We’re restraining him because he’s a danger to himself. They’ll take them off when he gets to the hospital.”
I followed them all to the front door. I wanted to kiss Neil. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to beg him to understand why I was doing this to him.
They took him out before I got the chance.
One of the EMTs came in and asked me questions about what Neil had taken. I went back to the bedroom to find the pill bottle and numbly pressed it into her hand when I returned. She examined it and asked me how many he’d taken. I had no idea.
There were so many questions, from the EMTs and the police, and they came one after another. Everything was quick and methodical, and somehow, I fell into my place in the odd verbal dance with them, though my mind had officially checked out.
This was real.
This was happening.
Neil wanted to die.
I’d had to call someone to help me force my husband to live.
“What hospital is he going to?” I had the presence of mind to ask, yelling out the front door to the EMTs.
“South Hampton,” one called back.
I didn’t ask if I could ride with them. Neil probably didn’t want me to, anyway.
“Do you need a ride?” the kinder officer asked.
I shook my head. “No, my, um, our driver will bring me.”
Even without lights and sirens, Tony would get us there just as fast. But I wouldn’t mention that to the police.
As quickly as everyone arrived, they were gone. The ambulance, the police, even the security guards filed out, and I was left there, standing alone in the foyer. I faintly heard Olivia crying in her nursery, but I couldn’t go to her. I stood there, watching the lights of the ambulance until they disappeared over the hill and down the road. Then, I sat on the floor and waited for Mom, because I couldn’t think of anything else to do, and my legs just didn’t work, anymore.
* * * *
The emergency waiting room was packed, so a sympathetic nurse led us into the trauma ward, to a separate, smaller waiting room.
“Flu season,” he said with a shrug as Mom and I sat in one of the five chairs in the stark room. “Someone will be in to talk to you soon, I’m sure.”
When he left, I turned to Mom. “What are they going to do for him?”