“Did she do this? Seeing her, listening to her spout her shit… is that why you’re doing this?”
All the air is sucked out of the room as Nicky and Mathis both give a rough rumble.
Shaw jumps up, his chair scraping loudly and the table shaking as his thighs bang into it. I have to grab my glass to keep it from toppling over.
“Charlotte! Fucking Charlotte? You’re leaving for two damn months? You didn’t think to discuss this with me? You promised me you wouldn’t leave me. I won’t let her push you out of town. You belong here. You belong with me!”
“I’m coming back,” is all I can say.
Fury radiates from the heat of his glare, and my heart starts to splinter. I’ve never seen him this pissed. He storms out and, a few seconds later, the door leading to the balcony slams. The vibration reaches all the way to my seat.
“Is he right, Biz? Is she the reason you volunteered to go?” Nicky’s question is laced with his own resentment.
I shrug, trying to find a way to explain. He and Mathis may not agree with my decision, but they’ll understand. Now, I need to find a way to make Shaw see where I’m coming from.
“I think I need to go talk to him.” I get up, taking my plate to the kitchen.
“We’ll clear the table and straighten the kitchen. You d
eal with him.” Mathis pats the back of my hand encouragingly. “We’ll let ourselves out when we’re done.”
I give them both a grateful hug and head to the patio to try and calm my furious boyfriend.
He’s sitting in the dark, facing the ocean with his elbows propped on his knees. I stand back and watch him finish an entire glass of whiskey in one gulp. He reaches between his legs and lifts the bottle, refilling his glass. Then he swallows that down as well.
“I know you’re there.” His voice is rough and harsh, grating on my fragile nerves.
“We should talk.”
“Well, get your ass over here.”
I go to him slowly, trying to think of exactly how I can explain this to him. All my earlier reasoning and a week’s worth of preparation disappears.
When I’m close enough, he circles an arm around my waist and tugs me to him. My arms automatically go around his shoulders, and I smell the strong scent of the whiskey. Usually I’m not a fan, but when he kisses me after drinking it, I love the taste.
“You’re upset with me.” I point out the obvious.
“Fuck yes, I am. How could I miss this?”
“Because you gave me the space to work through it, which I love you for. You didn’t push me to tell you, even though it’s obvious I’ve had something on my mind.”
“You’re not going. Call me a bastard, call me a caveman, call me anything you want, but I’m not letting you out of Miami. She’s not doing this to me, to us.”
“You’re right. She’s not. I am.”
His eyes snap to mine and, even in the dark, I can sense the intensity of his stare.
“I’ll admit, at first it was about her. But it was also about you. In my head, you need time to deal with this whole thing without worrying about me. Since you’ve found out she was pregnant, you’ve spent so much time concerned about me. In reality, my wellbeing should be low on your priority list.”
“Bullshit—”
“Let me finish.” I put a finger to his lips and run it along them gently. “After the run-in at the hospital and her twisting our conversation around, it stuck with me and I may have made a rash decision, but it was always for you. I’m hoping my time away will allow you to get your head on straight, get a grip on your feelings about being a dad, and mostly how you want to handle it. We’ve known all along she wasn’t going to make this easy on you. She wants you to herself.
“Then, after I talked to Evie, I became excited. They need me, Shaw. They are ecstatic to have someone work with their staff who has been through the experience these kids are going through. I’m not only a nurse, but also a survivor. We’re going to do a few training sessions where I will explain what I went through to help build empathy and understanding. So, yes, it started out as a way to get away from the madness going on here, but it’s turned into so much more.”
“Jesus Christ, how can I even refute that? Of course they need you. You’re an incredible nurse, and you love the kids. Mathis is right; they are lucky to have you. But why wouldn’t you discuss this with me?”
“In hindsight, I should have. I also should have told you alone, not during our monthly dinner. A part of me knew you’d be upset, and I guess I hoped they’d help you calm down. Stupid, huh?”