Finding Our Way (Finding our Way 1)

“Why?”

“Yes, why?

“I told you on that plane. You’re mine. Or at least you’re going to be when I break through this wall of hurt I’m responsible for.”

“I’m not yours, Bryce, not anymore.”

“Yes, you are. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for breaking the bond we shared. Age difference or not, I should have told you how much you meant to me. I was waiting for you, Devon. I was waiting for you when I fucked up. It took too long to get my shit sorted and I let you think you didn’t matter, but you did. When I pulled my shit together, it was you who was my guiding light.

“I knew I wasn’t going to marry her, but the baby was still mine. It was too selfish to ask you to be a part of that when you had such a future ahead of you. When you basically fled to Virginia, my heart hurt everyday, but I didn’t come to you. I thought it was the right thing to let you move on. But I’m selfish now. That night on your deck, when you kissed me, I meant what I said. I prayed for the next three years you would feel the same way when you turned eighteen. And the moment you laid eyes on me, I could tell you did. But I fucked up. It’ll forever be burned in my brain that I let you go. But now it’s time to fight for us.”

“I wouldn’t have cared.”

“Come again?”

“I wouldn’t have cared if you had a baby. If you would have told me you didn’t love her and wanted me, I would have done anything for you. I loved you that much. Getting over you was a grieving process. There are still some moments that I think about us and my chest hurts.”

“Jesus Christ. I’m an asshole.”

I stay silent watching the emotions run through his mind.

“I’m going to fight for us, Devon. You’ll never doubt me again. But please, give me a chance. A real one. Cancel your date. Let me prove to you, and your family, how serious I am.”

My mind goes back to a time when I would have given anything in the world to hear him say something like this. Then I realize, it still means something. I owe it to myself to see where this could go. If he hurts me again, it’ll be different, because now I’m stronger.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, Bryce, okay. I’ll cancel.”

“Thank you.”

“What happens next?”

A sly grin slips across his face and he lowers himself down. His lips touch mine softly, pecking gently. Then he parts my lips with his tongue and moves his fingers to the base of my neck, pulling me closer. I open widely and accept him, tasting the mint of his toothpaste and a flavor that’s all him. Our tongues swirl together slowly at first and then desire takes over and we devour each other. Clutching at his biceps, I silently beg him to never stop. This is the kiss I’ve waited for. My body is on fire wanting more, but savoring every stroke.

His pelvis hits my hip and I feel him hard and hot through his silk pajama pants. Never in my life has my body responded to the touch of a man like this. Grinding into him, I moan lightly as my aching core rubs against his thigh.

He slows our kiss and pulls back slightly, leaning his forehead against mine. Our deep breathing is in sync as we stare at each other. His eyes give me the sign. The sign, he’s serious. Devotion, love, passion are all the things I see as he rubs the back of my neck.

“That’s what happens next. Four and a half years I dreamed of kissing you again.”

My cheeks flush, remembering how awkward I must have been at fifteen with no experience at all.

“Tell me, Devon, do I have nice lips?”

“Yes.”

“Do I know what to do with them?”

Holy Shit! He heard my conversation with Quinn. I bury my face in his neck and nod.

“Good thing because I don’t want to be any part of that loser list. It’s my goal in life to make everything perfect for you from now on.”

“Don’t hurt me again, Bryce.”

“Baby, I’d kill myself before you ever felt another piece of pain from me. I’m not perfect, but you will never doubt how I feel about you again.”