Finding Our Way (Finding our Way 1)

“Oh my God.”

“Yeah, babe, I’ll fill up this whole bracelet with our memories.”

“I love it.”

He nods and pulls me back down to his chest, running his fingers through my hair. We don’t go to sleep though, we talk quietly through the night. I fill him in on my life in Virginia and he tells me more about the year and a half I missed. We don’t mention Holli or anything remotely upsetting. When I fall asleep again at dawn, I know this is the best Christmas I’ve ever had.

Chapter 5

Hold it together, hold it together, hold it together. I keep repeating in my head. My impending breakdown is trying to bubble to the surface and suffocate me with tears. I have no doubt, I’ll hit a restroom stall as soon as I get through security and bawl, but I don’t want Bryce to see.

It was hard to say goodbye to everyone since we had such a wonderful vacation. It sucks being the first to leave. Sheila and Dave hugged me tight and explained now that things were out in the open, they expected weekly check in calls from me. Somehow Bryce talked everyone into letting him ride with me to the airport.

The whole ride, Bryce holds me tight against him. My eyes well up a few times, thinking about leaving. His eyes are sympathetic and I know he’s having a hard time too.

“Babe, we got to talk about this before you get on a plane. I can’t let you go without knowing how you feel. You need time and that’s fine, but I need to know we’re in this together. Tell me I have nothing to worry about.”

A part of me is still protecting myself, but deep down, I know I’m a goner. It’s ridiculous to deny it. But I’m still apprehensive to see how things work out when I’m back in Virginia and he is in Knoxville. He’s already admitted to screwing women because they were easy. And we haven’t even gotten to second base. His reluctance to touch me is endearing, but frustrating too.

“Bryce, can we see how things go? I’m scared to death to fall deep again and you be tempted because we aren’t together. I’m only nineteen, how do you know you won’t meet a more experienced girl in the next few months that turns your head? Let’s take it slow.”

“You think your age matters to me? You think a ‘more experienced’ girl will turn my head? I’ve done some shitty things, but please don’t insult my intelligence,” he growls.

“Bryce—”

“No, Devon, this thing between us is anything but casual. This is me finally going after what I’ve wanted for years. Get that shit out of your head. I have a long way to go to prove how much I care about you. But promise me you’ll talk to me, let me in.”

“You know I will. I already did.”

“That’s all I can ask for. Now we need to talk about your deflection strategy.”

“Deflection strategy?”

“Yeah, babe. You’re going to be in Miami with a ton of crazy guys. I need to know you know how to fend them off. Quinn and I spoke and I have a feeling she’s scouting for the next loser to make the list.”

“You talked to Quinn?!”

“Of course. I had to let her know how serious I am and give her the chance to cuss me out. She was pretty mellow, but I’m even more aware of how deeply I hurt you. If you weren’t cheering in this fucking game, I’d take you to an unknown location. Then spend the rest of our break making it up to you.”

“I don’t know if I should kick you or kiss you.”

“Kiss is always the best answer.”

I think about what he’s saying and decide to go ahead and ask him the question bothering me since the night he took that phone call.

“Who did you talk to? In Aspen, when you left the room when Nate and I were waiting to watch a movie”

“The jeweler making your bracelet. She emailed me several charms, but none had enough room for me to say what I wanted, so she had an idea. I loved it and then made sure it was ready for Mom to pick up the next day.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. Who’d you think I was talking to?”

“I was too scared to ask,” I whisper meekly.

“Never, ever be scared to ask me again. Anything you want to know.”

“Okay.”