Staying on Course (Finding our Way 2)

Even with the Holli fiasco, the week I spent here on Spring Break was one of the best weeks ever. It was the first time, as a true couple, Bryce and I had a week together. I fight back the tears that threaten. Both men watch me carefully, reading the sadness in my face. Neither says anything as they wait for it to pass.

The apartment is not the only thing that has made me feel this way. Since the night we celebrated my trip to Rio, I’ve been blindsided with emotions regarding the upcoming changes in our lives.

In twelve days, I’ll be saying goodbye for six weeks. Bryce and Nate leave for Rhode Island shortly after. We’ll know more about methods of communication once they get there. But both have already prepared me that we won’t be having hours of Facetime like we did before.

OCS expectations are insanely high, and the training is intense. Bryce has promised to try everything in his power for us to talk daily, but we both know it won’t happen, especially when I land in South America.

So I glance around the room, committing it to memory, and plaster on a fake smile. “We’re getting the U-Haul on Saturday, right?” I ask Nate.

“Yeah, a few guys will be here to help load it up. We should be on the road back to Nashville by two or three.”

“Why don’t y’all start on your rooms, and I’ll do the kitchen?”

“Fine by me.” Nate grabs a few boxes from the corner and disappears down the hall.

“I’ll help you. My room can wait.” Bryce follows me to the kitchen with our own boxes.

“I’ll start with the cabinets. You clean out the fridge.”

He agrees and grabs the trashcan, while I get the dishes down and start wrapping. We’re silent for a few minutes, but I feel the heat of his stare.

“I know you’re looking at me.”

“I’m not trying to hide that.”

“Why are you looking at me?”

“Because you’re breathtaking. My eyes won’t come unglued.”

Tears blur my vision with his sweet words. My heart physically hurts knowing we’re about to be apart for so long.

He sees them and comes straight to me, pulling me into his embrace. “Don’t cry, baby.”

“It’s all becoming so real. When we walked into the apartment today, I felt it immediately.”

“I know. It was written all over your face.”

“It’s silly. It’s only an apartment, and we have time before we leave. Why the hell am I so emotional?”

“Maybe it is only an apartment, but remember the weekend you and Quinn came to visit and we took you to a UT football game?”

“Yes.”

“Remember that stupid marathon you girls watched on Sunday?”

“Pretty Little Liars is hardly stupid.”

He raises an eyebrow and cups my chin gently. “It was and is fucking ridiculous. But I’ll let you in on a little secret. Every once in a while, I’ll run across that program and watch it, thinking of you. God, I loved you then but was too scared to admit the feelings. At the time, it was more of a she’s such an incredible and beautiful girl. But now, I recognize the signs. All weekend, my heart would race when you walked into a room. My palms grew sweaty, thinking about reaching out to grab your hand. My mouth would salivate each time you licked your lips. I had it bad but was too dumb to recognize it.

“So, yeah, it’s only an apartment, but it holds memories.”

I suck in a shaky breath and stare into his deep blue eyes. They hold me captive with their own emotions swirling. I thought it impossible to love him any deeper, but he proves me wrong with statements like that.

“We’ll get our own apartment, baby. In a few years, when you graduate and we know where I’m stationed, we’ll get a place and build new memories.”

“I know we will. I’m being immature and ridiculous.”

“No, you’re being you. And I love you.”