Staying on Course (Finding our Way 2)

“How is he?” I slide my hand under his.

“No change. The doctors will want to run a few tests in the morning to look at his brain activity.”

“Is that normal?”

“Yes, especially if they plan to move him.”

“Have you been doing this long, Cindy?”

“I’ve been a nurse for twenty-nine years.”

“Have you worked with a lot of patients in Bryce’s condition?”

“Too many to count.”

“How can I help him?”

“Keep doing what you’re doing. Touch him, talk to him, make sure he’s as comfortable as possible.”

“Can he hear me? Can he feel me?”

“Opinions vary, but I think so.”

“It doesn’t seem like enough.” My voice breaks. “I want to do everything in my power for him.”

“So far, you’re doing it.” She pats me on the arm and leaves.

I sink back into the chair and scoot in as close as possible. Carefully, I lay my head next to his ear. “Bryce, I love you so much. Can you hear me?” I whisper, trying not to wake Nate. Nothing happens, and I lean my head against his temple, fighting the urge to break down.

For the rest of the night, I talk about nothing specific, only stopping when Cindy comes in to check on him. Finally, I drift to sleep with my arms wrapped gently around him.

*****

“Dev, I’ll stay with him the whole time. You need to get some rest in a real bed,” Nate pleads with me, and I continue to refuse.

“Not happening.”

“We agreed he’d never be alone, not that you’d be here around the clock. You’re exhausted and need a decent meal.”

I cut my eyes and shoot him an evil glare. “Stop trying.”

“I promise if he so much as twitches, I’ll call you.”

“Nate, I can’t leave him. If he wakes up and I’m not here, it’ll kill me. He needs me.”

“He’ll kill you if he opens his eyes and sees you right now. Seriously, you look like you need your own hospital bed.”

I run my hands through my ratty ponytail and know he’s right. I must look like shit. It’s been two days since Bryce was moved to his own room, and I haven’t left his side for more than ten minutes. I’ve been sleeping in the recliner, unless Sheila and Dave need it, and then I go to the side of his bed and lay my head down. Usually, I prefer to be close, but it annoys the nurses when they come in. Even though we’ve gotten to know each other, I try to respect their space.

“I’ll make you a deal.” I get up and go to my bag in the corner. “If you promise to stay right here the whole time, I’m going to take a shower—a real one, where my hair gets washed and legs shaved. Then, if Sheila and Dave are here, I’ll go to the cafeteria and get a sandwich with you.”

“Can we eat it down there? Give you a change of scenery?”

“Don’t push your luck. We’ll eat it up here, and maybe the smell of food will make him realize he’s hungry and wake up.” I chuckle at my clever thinking.

Nate nods and turns on the TV while I go to the small bathroom. For the first time in days, I allow myself time to enjoy the pounding of the hot water on my aching neck and back. Washing my hair and shaving my legs feels like a luxury. When my skin starts to wrinkle, I force myself out and go through the routine of dressing in a clean sweat suit and putting on some make up. Nate’s voice drifts through the door as he tells Bryce about the rankings in the NCAA Basketball tournament.

My mind flashes to last year when we all watched the tournament together, and the familiar ache clutches in my chest. God, I wish I could crawl up in Bryce’s lap and watch the tournament for hours while he holds me.