Finding Our Course (Finding our Way 3)

“No, let’s make a pallet on the floor. It’s so beautiful,” I answer sleepily.

“Okay, hold on.” He leaves me and moves around gathering blankets and grabs two pillows from my room.

I join him as he situates himself, partly leaning against the couch. Without thinking too hard, I curl up on him, wrapping my arms around his waist and laying my head on his chest.

“This is nice.”

“Considering it’s the first Christmas I have you in my arms, it’s better than nice. I have something for you, Devon. Can you give me your wrist?”

I extend my arm and feel him digging in his pocket. Then cold metal encircles my skin as he fumbles with a clasp.

When he’s done, I sit up and admire the beautiful charm bracelet. It’s sterling silver with several intertwining links. In the middle is one single charm. It’s the shape of a Christmas tree. The writing on the back is too small for me to see in the muted light, but when I reach for the lamp, he stops me.

“It says todays date.”

“That’s really sweet, Bryce.”

He watches my face and then chuckles. “You don’t get it. It’s our first Christmas together. The tree represents the Aspen Pine.”

Realization hits me. It’s a symbol, a statement, a memory.

“Oh my God.”

“Yeah, babe, I’ll fill up this whole bracelet with our memories.”

“I love it.”

He nods and pulls me back down to his chest, running his fingers through my hair. We don’t go to sleep, though. We talk quietly through the night. I fill him in on my life in Virginia, and he tells me more about the year and a half I missed. We don’t mention Holli or anything remotely upsetting. When I fall asleep again at dawn, I know this is the best Christmas I’ve ever had.

Chapter 5

Hold it together, hold it together, hold it together. I repeat in my head. My impending breakdown is threatening to bubble to the surface and suffocate me with tears. I have no doubt, I’ll hit a restroom stall as soon as I get through security and bawl, but I don’t want Bryce to see.

It was hard to say goodbye to everyone since we had such a wonderful vacation. It sucks being the first to leave. Sheila and Dave hugged me tightly and explained, now that things are out in the open, they expect weekly check-in calls from me. Somehow, Bryce talked everyone into letting him ride with me to the airport.

Throughout the whole ride, Bryce holds me close to him. My eyes well up a few times, thinking about leaving. His eyes are sympathetic, and I know he’s having a hard time, too.

“Babe, we’ve got to talk about this before you get on a plane. I can’t let you go without knowing how you feel. You need time, and that’s fine, but I need to know we’re in this together. Tell me I have nothing to worry about.”

A part of me is still protecting myself, but deep down, I know I’m a goner. It’s ridiculous to deny it, but I’m still apprehensive to see how things will work out when I’m back in Virginia and he is in Knoxville. He’s already admitted to screwing women because they were easy, and we haven’t even gotten to second base. His reluctance to touch me is endearing but frustrating, too.

“Bryce, can we see how things go? I’m scared to death to fall deep again and you be tempted because we aren’t together. I’m only nineteen. How do you know you won’t meet a more experienced girl in the next few months that turns your head? Let’s take it slow.”

“You think your age matters to me? You think a ‘more experienced’ girl will turn my head? I’ve done some shitty things, but please don’t insult my intelligence,” he growls.

“Bryce—”

“No, Devon, this thing between us is anything but casual. This is me finally going after what I’ve wanted for years. Get that shit out of your head. I have a long way to go to prove how much I care about you, but promise me you’ll talk to me, let me in.”

“You know I will. I already did.”

“That’s all I can ask for. Now, we need to talk about your deflection strategy.”

“Deflection strategy?”

“Yeah, babe. You’re going to be in Miami with a ton of crazy guys. I need to know you know how to fend them off. Quinn and I spoke, and I have a feeling she’s scouting for the next loser to make the list.”

“You talked to Quinn?!”