Finding Our Course (Finding our Way 3)

“For who?”

“For us. I need to know how deep the emotional wounds go, for both of us. Tell me what you think I need to know.”

I sigh but open the floodgates, telling him everything, going back to the day of my graduation until the day I saw him on the plane. I tell him about my failed dates, the guys I semi-crushed on, and the moments of weakness I would bring out pictures of all us growing up. Several times, he squeezes me against him, almost too tight, but I don’t stop him.

A part of me is disappointed with myself for being so open, so trusting, but I’ve always been an open book. No sense holding back now. Even if he leaves and screws me over again, I’ll know he heard the truth.

When I’m done, a weight is lifted off my shoulders, but he’s tight and unreadable. His relaxed demeanor disappears and is replaced with tension.

“Bryce?”

“Give me a minute. I’m trying to find a way not to kick my own ass and at the same time reel in my emotions.”

We stay silent, and guilt starts to bubble up. He already had a few shitty years. How dare I unload on him so insensitively?

“I’m sorry. I should have been more—”

“I told you to never be sorry with me. I’m a fucking shithead. Your pain guts me.”

“I was young and in love with a fairytale—”

“You’ll get your fairytale.”

“I’m still young, Bryce. I have some growing to do.”

“And you’ll do it with me.”

“How can you be so certain? You have a lot ahead of you. Officer Candidate School, training, who knows what else… You don’t need to make empty promises.”

“Devon Marie Harris, my promises to you will never be empty. How about you? Are you ready to give up the ever-growing loser list?”

“Yes, but swear to God, you better not screw around on me. If you ever think we’re not working, tell me.”

“Is that what you’re scared of? Me screwing around?”

“Well, yeah.”

“You have absolutely no reason in the world to ever worry. Thought I told you that leaving Aspen. I may be an asshole, but I’m not a cheater, and for the first time in my life, everything I need is right here. Seriously, I’m crazy about you.”

“Ummhmm, sweet talker. We’ll see.” I cuddle my head into his shoulder and close my eyes, ready to fall back asleep.

The shrill sound of Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off” fills the room, and I jump, almost falling off the bed. Bryce catches me with a smirk on his face. Thoughts of strangling Quinn come to mind for setting that as her ring tone.

“What?” I shout.

“No need to shout. Are you and lover boy up?”

“Yes, I was actually about to fall back asleep. What’s up?” I yawn.

“No sleep. We’re going to the beach. Meet me in the room in twenty minutes.”

“Quinn… I’m so tired,” I whine.

“Bitch, suck it up. Bring your man-candy along. Dean is meeting us down there.”

“Okay, we’ll see you there. But promise me you’ll never refer to Bryce as man-candy again. It freaks me out.”