Finding Our Course (Finding our Way 3)

“Should we be worried about her obsession?”

“No, it’ll be handled in a few days.”

“New plan.” I step into the tub and hold out my hands for him. “We don’t talk about her anymore tonight. I’ll be here for three more days. It’ll take a while to get over this, but right now, I physically need you to hold me.”

Relief washes over his face, and he steps out of his pants and into the tub. We sink down together, and he takes his time washing every inch of me. I hold back tears at his tenderness, knowing he’s doing the same.

We finish and go straight back to the bed, me slipping into one of his sweatshirts. He positions me across his lap, and we take turns feeding each other spoonfuls of peanut butter, not talking. When we do fall asleep, both of us cling tight, feeling what we could have lost.

“Nate, if you put that channel on another football game, I’ll scream!” My protest goes unheard, and players fill the screen.

“You’ll get over it.” He sits back on the couch and drapes his arm around Jamie’s shoulders.

We both roll our eyes, and I nudge Bryce in the ribs. “Can’t you do something?”

“Oh, yeah, I can do something.” He raises his eyebrows. “I can take you back to my room and we abandon football all together.”

“You’re hopeless.”

“Hopelessly trying to get laid.” He nuzzles my neck.

“This is getting fucking ridiculous. Can you two have some respect?” my brother hisses.

Jamie starts giggling, and I push off Bryce’s chest to my feet. “Okay, I’ll clean the kitchen.”

He starts to move, too, but Jamie speaks up. “I’ll help.”

She follows me to the kitchen and helps put away the leftovers of my ‘late’ New Year’s meal. Since we lost two nights and days to the Liza situation, I insisted on re-creating New Year’s Day. Then I insisted that Nate invite Jamie to see we could be normal.

“You look a lot better than the last time I saw you,” Jamie says nicely.

“You mean, when you left me slumped in bed, thinking my life was over two days ago? I can only imagine what I looked like, swollen eyes, nose running, tears pouring down my face.”

“It wasn’t that bad.” She presses her lips together.

“You’re a liar, but that’s okay because you’re doing it to make me feel better.”

“Seriously, it’s good to see you smile.”

“Thank you for everything.”

She shrugs and sits at the small table and looks around the kitchen. I can tell she’s curious but too polite to question me.

I pour two glasses of wine and hand her one as I sit down. “This is our normal. Today, tonight… what you see is us. We watch TV, eat good meals, cuddle as close as possible, even throwing in a few lewd comments to aggravate my brother, and hang out. All that drama you experienced is not us. Bryce and I don’t fight. We don’t argue. He won’t let us. He takes care of me. He’s proven many times that he’ll step in and take charge if it keeps me safe and secure.

“The other night, we were treated to a huge dose of how manipulative and nasty people can be. I allowed a shred of doubt to infiltrate the fortress of love Bryce has given me. It was a terrible and relationship changing event. I never want to feel that much pain again in my life.”

I take a deep breath to push down the anxiety at the memory. “There is one good thing that came from this experience, if you can believe it. Bryce and I have spend countless hours discussing exactly how we let this happen. We both take some blame. Bryce isn’t just the love of my life; he’s the only relationship I’ve ever had. In my attempts to be mature and handle Liza my own way, I didn’t truly talk to him. That was a mistake. He knew about my jealousy but not about the deep insecurities she planted in me. In turn, he now recognizes his naiveté at misreading the situation.”

“Is it too intrusive to ask what exactly happened?”

“Nope, but you were right to think he didn’t cheat on me.” I explain in detail everything that happened, starting from the beginning. When I’m done, Jamie drains the last of her glass and gets up to pour us more.

“What did Bryce do?” she asks with wide eyes.

“After he cussed her out at the bar, he left and started calling me. He was in the parking lot at the bar when Nate found him. You probably know what happened next.”

“No, Nate was too angry and told me very little. I stayed with you until Bryce picked you up and carried you to his room.”