Finding Our Course (Finding our Way 3)

“So far, you’re doing it.” She pats me on the arm and leaves.

I sink back into the chair and scoot in as close as possible. Carefully, I lay my head next to his ear. “Bryce, I love you so much. Can you hear me?” I whisper, trying not to wake Nate. Nothing happens, and I lean my head against his temple, fighting the urge to break down.

For the rest of the night, I talk about nothing specific, only stopping when Cindy comes in to check on him. Finally, I drift to sleep with my arms wrapped gently around him.

“Dev, I’ll stay with him the whole time. You need to get some rest in a real bed,” Nate pleads with me, and I continue to refuse.

“Not happening.”

“We agreed he’d never be alone, not that you’d be here around the clock. You’re exhausted and need a decent meal.”

I cut my eyes and shoot him an evil glare. “Stop trying.”

“I promise if he so much as twitches, I’ll call you.”

“Nate, I can’t leave him. If he wakes up and I’m not here, it’ll kill me. He needs me.”

“He’ll kill you if he opens his eyes and sees you right now. Seriously, you look like you need your own hospital bed.”

I run my hands through my ratty ponytail and know he’s right. I must look like shit. It’s been two days since Bryce was moved to his own room, and I haven’t left his side for more than ten minutes. I’ve been sleeping in the recliner, unless Sheila and Dave need it, and then I go to the side of his bed and lay my head down. Usually, I prefer to be close, but it annoys the nurses when they come in. Even though we’ve gotten to know each other, I try to respect their space.

“I’ll make you a deal.” I get up and go to my bag in the corner. “If you promise to stay right here the whole time, I’m going to take a shower—a real one, where my hair gets washed and legs shaved. Then, if Sheila and Dave are here, I’ll go to the cafeteria and get a sandwich with you.”

“Can we eat it down there? Give you a change of scenery?”

“Don’t push your luck. We’ll eat it up here, and maybe the smell of food will make him realize he’s hungry and wake up.” I chuckle at my clever thinking.

Nate nods and turns on the TV while I go to the small bathroom. For the first time in days, I allow myself time to enjoy the pounding of the hot water on my aching neck and back. Washing my hair and shaving my legs feels like a luxury. When my skin starts to wrinkle, I force myself out and go through the routine of dressing in a clean sweat suit and putting on some make up. Nate’s voice drifts through the door as he tells Bryce about the rankings in the NCAA Basketball tournament.

My mind flashes to last year when we all watched the tournament together, and the familiar ache clutches in my chest. God, I wish I could crawl up in Bryce’s lap and watch the tournament for hours while he holds me.

“You done in there?” Quinn’s voice interrupts my thought as she knocks softly on the door.

“Yes.” I open it and walk out. She’s not alone. Our whole group has crowded in the small room.

“You look and smell a lot better.”

“I wasn’t that bad.” I try to defend myself but realize she is probably right. “Okay, maybe I was.”

“We made a plan this morning. Your parents are coming with us back to Charlottesville. I’ll pack you some more clothes, and anything you need for school, and they’ll drive your car back.”

“That’s a good idea. I’ll text you a list of things I need. I’ve already emailed all my professors, and they’ve understood. Most of my stuff can be done electronically.”

“I’ll send all my notes for as long as you need,” Crystal offers.

My mom walks up and puts an arm around my shoulder, tugging me gently into her. “We’ll be back in a few days. You need me, anytime, you call.”

“Okay.”

We say our goodbyes, and Sheila and Dave stay behind while Nate takes me downstairs. Before we get to the cafeteria, I see the blanket of snow on the ground outside and guide him toward the door. When we step outside, I pull my hoodie up and cross my arms. Even though I’m freezing, the fresh air is welcomed.

“I wonder if the fresh air would help Bryce? Maybe that’s exactly what he needs.”

“If you think the hospital staff is going to let you wheel him out here in the twenty degree weather, you’re crazy,” Nate informs me.

“I know. It was only a thought. I’d do anything if I knew it’d help.”

“Come here.” He holds his arms out and then closes me into his warm body. “I love him, too. We’ll get through this. Remember, the doctors said his brain is healing itself, and we can’t rush it.”