Surrendering (Surrender 1)

Graduation

I never realized how boring Graduation ceremonies are. Declan asked me to go with him to Abbi’s commencement and I promised him I would go. He somehow thought that I could make the hours more bearable. He was wrong.

To be honest, I’m glad to have this time with Declan. He’s been so distant over the last few weeks and I feel that there’s a hole growing in our relationship. Even though we’ve slept together almost every night, we haven’t had much

alone time.

Declan finally told me about Ryan’s offer to tour with them this summer. Declan’s band has their own bus, but Declan hasn’t invited me to go with them. He’s been avoiding the subject all together.

Since I’m still running the website and Facebook accounts, Jay has been keeping me updated with all the info. Jay’s working with Knight’s Dream to put together a schedule, but it looks like the guys are going to be playing shows all over the southeast. So far, they’ve booked twenty shows over a six-week period. Knight’s Dream recently had a song hit the radio circuit so their popularity has skyrocketed. They finally cut an album and their single is climbing the charts. Since they aren’t huge yet, their manager and Jay wanted them to play in venues that appeal to their original fans. Sayge is fine with it because they want to stay connected to their fans. Nothing is solidified yet, but it looks like the two bands will hit the road after Bonnaroo.

After Abbi’s graduation, David takes us all out to dinner to celebrate. Jimi gave Abbi a beautiful necklace for a graduation present. Since she’s so artistic, he had a pendant made out of sea glass; it’s striking. David and Declan haven’t talked much about it, but I know they like Jimi and Abbi together. Apparently, it’s okay for Declan to meet me, fall in love with me, and get engaged to me all within five and a half months, but Jimi has been warned not to propose until they’ve been dating at least a year. I’m not sure she knows about that conversation, but Robbie told me about it.

After dinner, David leaves for home and the rest of us head downtown. My Atlanta friends are coming home in a few weeks. Kendall is the only one who got a job, but she isn’t starting until July. She’s going to stay living in Atlanta and Harper decided she wanted to stay as well. Charlie is moving back to Nashville. She has a few interviews lined up, but she mostly wants to spend the summer obligation-free. Blake and her have officially hooked up and she is planning on going to as many of the shows this summer as possible.

Since it’s graduation weekend, every bar we hit is loaded with people. It’s becoming increasingly harder to get drinks and Declan is having a hard time holding onto me in the crowds. After about an hour, he asks me if we can go home. I say yes and we say our good-byes.

When we get to my house, Declan slumps down on the sofa with his head in his hands.

“What’s wrong?” I ask softly.

“Those crowds made me nervous. I couldn’t keep my eye on you like I wanted to. My stomach was in knots the whole time.”

“Declan, Christie’s in jail. I’m not a target anymore. We’re in exactly the same place we were before she kidnapped me. You don’t need to worry anymore. We’re just a normal couple. You have to stop looking over your shoulder and thinking I’m in trouble.”

“That’s just it, Raven; I can’t. I’ve tried. It’s easier some days more than others, but things are different now.” Resignation radiates in his voice and I have a feeling we aren’t just talking about my kidnapping anymore.

“Declan, look at me. What are you talking about?” He still won’t look at me and I start to panic. He keeps his gaze to the floor even when I pull on his shoulders to get him to face me.

He sighs against his hands and finally looks me in the eyes. “Raven, I’m so fucking confused by what’s happening; I can’t see straight!”

“Let’s start from the beginning; talk to me. You’re not making sense.”

“Sayge has been given this awesome opportunity and I can’t even get excited because I’m so scared of what might happen to you.”

“What are you saying?”

“Nate, Blake, and Cooper came over a few days ago to talk about the summer tour. This is important to them- to us- and they know my head isn’t in the game. This is the chance we’ve been waiting for. Jay already has a small label looking at us. If we do well in the first few shows, there’s a chance they’ll give us a contract to cover recording an album. The marketing team would jump in with Knight’s Dream and push for more shows after the summer. This is our big shot.”

“Dec, this is all good news. What’s the problem?”

“You, you’re the problem.”

I didn’t expect this answer. Wow! “Me?”

“Yeah, the guys need me to be one hundred percent and I can’t concentrate because I’m always worried about you. If I ask you to come, I can’t guarantee your safety. They’ve asked me not to bring you along.”

“They asked you not to invite your fiancé along with you for a six-week tour that could be your big break?” I can’t hide the hurt in my voice. “What did you tell them?”

He doesn’t say anything. He just stares at me and I know his answer.

“You aren’t going to ask me to come are you, Declan?”

He doesn’t say anything; he lies back against the couch and focuses on the ceiling. I wait him out and he finally looks at me. “I don’t think I can. This is not about me anymore.”

“What the fuck does that mean? What happened to nothing ever coming between us and you doing anything for me? Was all that bullshit? Why are we even having this conversation?”

“For fuck’s sake, Raven! This isn’t about planning a surprise party or changing a gig at The Steamroom so we can go to a concert! This is about our future. This is our chance at the big time. Opportunities like this don’t just come along every day. Sayge has a real shot here and I owe it to the guys. They’re like brothers to me. I can’t let them down.”