“We’ll do it one day at a time. I’m never going to push you.”
I reach up and pull his face down to mine. When our lips touch, I don’t feel the electricity I do with Declan, but I feel the passion. Finn lets me control the kiss but tightens his hold on me. When I pull back, he leans his forehead against mine while we catch our breaths.
“Let’s go home.”
I nod against him and let him lead the way. What the hell am I going to do?
*****
Finn
I’m not sure what I expected, but I think the day went pretty well. She didn’t completely shut me down. I told her the truth; I know what I’m up against. Especially with Raven. Her loyalty knows no bounds. Her phone beeps in her room and know its Declan. He texts every day around the same time. I’ve never asked what his messages say, but I saw one and it seems his way of saying goodnight.
I know Jenna told him I’m with Raven, I don’t think she knows about my motivation for the trip, but James does. The good thing about it is I do love the job. I enjoy working with Jack and the rest of the guys. He’s mentioned how pleased he is with my work and he’ll hate losing us both when we go home. If it was up to me, I would convince Raven we needed to stay in Paris longer but it’s not an option.
Jimi told me Declan knows I’m in love with Raven. I didn’t question his reaction because I can imagine he’s pissed. If things work out for Raven and me, it’s going to be awkward at home for a while. Declan will always be around if she continues to live with Abbi and Ella. I haven’t figured out all the details, but if Raven gives me a chance, I will do everything in my power to prove to her that my love is forever.
Chapter 5
South Carolina
Declan
The next four nights we are playing venues in Charleston. Since we’re in the same city for so long, we get hotels rooms to get off the bus and have some space. Blake and I are sharing a room because he’s still seeing Charlie and with this type of freedom, who knows who Nate and Cooper will bring back to their room. The only problem with this arrangement is I have to talk to him. He tries hard to act like things are normal but the tension between us is still there.
Our shows are going great. MJ Labels has signed us for a trial period and found a small studio in the area we can record. MJ’s taken the top three most requested songs from our shows and wants to start pushing through his channels. Knight’s Dream now has national recognition and our numbers have grown significantly, as well. Even in my depressed state of mind, I’ve gotten excited about this step. Today is the first day in the studio.
When we walk in, I laugh because it’s just like the small space we went to record for Jay last spring. The difference in this studio is we will work the four days to get the sounds right and when we head out, MJ will work with the sound technicians to perfect the songs. He’ll send us the final cut for approval. Once we saw what he did with Knight’s Dream, we agreed completely.
We work for hours until my part is done and I sit on the couch to listen to Blake go over the riffs. I pull my phone out of my pocket and immediately send Raven a text.
Hey babe, we are in a studio, in Charleston. I think you would love it here. I know I haven’t called you since Ella’s birthday, but I wanted to give you space. I love you so much. Please tell me you’re coming home to me.
When I press send, I realize it’s the middle of the night in Paris and my mind goes to her in bed. Then I think about Finn so close and my body tenses up. I can’t breathe in the small space, so I leave the building to go outside and get some air.
It’s not really a pleasant night, but I light a cigarette and lean against the side of the building. Smoking has become my vice. It gives me a good excuse to step away anytime I feel suffocated.
After Ella’s birthday, I tried my best to put my grudge against Cooper, Blake, and Nate behind me. I took most of the blame and guilt, but part of me feels as betrayed as Raven. I know they felt terrible before we left Nashville, but now that my fiancée has left me, they’ve become absolutely unbearable. I hear them talking about me at night, when they think I’m asleep. Blake wants Charlie to intervene, but she refuses. Nate wants to keep me busy, so he tries to take me out every night. Even when I sit across from him and don’t say anything for hours, he th
inks it’s good I’m off the bus. Cooper tries to fill our days with music, which actually helps. He has a keyboard on the bus and when we’re traveling, we use the time to put together the notes. I think we actually have a hit under our belt, but it is so different from our other sounds. This is raw, gritty and extremely dark. We’re going to put it together tomorrow and let MJ decide.
The guys walk out of the studio as I finish my third cigarette.
“Why don’t we hit the bar across the street? I could use a drink.” Nate asks the group. Cooper and Blake nod in agreement.
“It’s our only night off for the next three, you sure that’s a good idea?” I point out.
“Yeah, man, I think it’s a great idea. Come on with us.”
I motion for him to lead the way and follow.
Once we get a table I realize this is a bad idea. Nate and Cooper encourage every girl that looks our way to join our table. Pretty soon we’re surrounded by at least seven females trying to get our attention in every way. One tries to sit on my lap. I give her my chair and go to the bar.
Ryan and the rest of his band come in. Ryan joins me while the other guys go to the table and are immediately assaulted by barely dressed females. I’ve already drank more than enough for a healthy buzz, but I still feel the pain. I need more to make it go away.
We do a few shots and talk about our time in the studio today. Ryan is a good guy, and he isn’t into the party scene as much as the others. He’s been a friend to me even though I’ve been a complete jackass. I get a good buzz going and excuse myself to go smoke.
I light a cigarette as soon as I find the alley designated for smokers. No one is out here, and I enjoy the silence. My mind is buzzing with Jack Daniels when someone touches me.