Salvation (Surrender 3)

Do you know what it would do to me, to Aunt Chloe… to US if anything happened to you? Don’t even get me started on Robbie, Raven, Declan, hell everyone! I was cornered with nowhere to go.”

I take a deep breath and focus my eyes directly on Chloe, who is frozen in place. “You might as well unpack all that.” I motion to the bag she’s filling with my clothes. “There is no way I’m going to leave here with the way you’ve all treated me. I’ve begged, and I MEAN BEGGED, for you to talk to me, but no, you all give me looks of disappointment and disgust. I’d rather be alone to reflect on my bad judgment than to be reminded of it with each of your snide comments or nasty glances.”

My chest is tight and heaving, but there’s one last thing I want to say. “I lost the man I loved because Natalie manipulated me once again. It hurts. God, it hurts so much, but I’ll survive. Not once through any of my turmoil or confusion, did I ever think you’d all turn on me, too.”

At that last statement, all energy leaves my body and I slump onto the bed.

“I’d like you all to leave now.”

“You’re all fucking dicks! I told you giving her tough love wasn’t the right thing to do. Told you she needed family. But no, you let her suffer alone. I’m fucking taking charge now, and Ember is going home with me. She’s going to be loved, and if I have to beat any of your asses, it’ll be my pleasure. Is this what you wanted, for our girl to be alone and miserable?” Alex roars, yanking me into his arms. “We’re leaving. Get her shit and bring it back to the condo. And let me be clear- when you walk out this door, you leave your fucking egos behind. They’ve done enough damage.”

Alex ushers me out so quickly, I only have time to grab my purse. When we get to his truck, he’s trembling as much as I am.

“Little Star, you think you can eat?”

I shake my head.

“I’m going to stop somewhere and get food. You have to try.” He drives without another word as I lay my head on the window and close my eyes.

Alex wakes me gently when we get to the condo. I finally speak.

“I’m sorry for everything, Alex. You don’t need to fight with Cruz over me.”

“We’re not fighting. Each of them has their own reason for being distant, but I’ve been telling them for days you needed us.”

“If I could cry right now, I would, but —”

“There have been enough tears shed. What’s done is done. You’re home now. This is a place you can be yourself. No one’s going to make you uncomfortable. I’m here for you, Ember. Those guys have a lot of misplaced anger, but today was eye opening. I can’t speak for Robbie, or even pretend to know what’s going on in his head, but I can tell you he loves you and he’ll be back.”

“Can we not talk about him?”

“We’re going to have to eventually.”

I don’t answer but walk up to the house, suddenly exhausted. Alex ushers me to the sofa and takes the bags of food to the kitchen. When he comes back, I’m curled up in my usual ball, staring out the window.

“Tell me what’s going through your mind.” He crawls in behind me, wrapping his body around mine.

“Nothing. It hurts to think. It’s easier to keep my head clear.”

“This is unhealthy, Ember.”

“Have you ever been heartbroken, Alex? So emotionally spent that everything you have to do to survive aches? Just getting out of bed becomes a chore. The pain is like no other. It slices through me every time I allow myself to think. So a blank mind is the only thing that keeps me from feeling the pain so deep it threatens to choke me.”

“Jesus, babe, we have to get you through this.”

“I was in physical pain yesterday when Raven walked in. Her eyes are identical to Robbie’s. I love his eyes. I mean I loved everything about him, but his eyes tell a story. They are so blue and bright when he’s happy. Azure, Royal Blue, Cobalt, any color of the spectrum can describe him and his moods.”

“He’s coming back, honey.”

“He’ll be back in Nashville, but he’s not coming back to me.”

“You don’t know that.”

I shrug.

“Do I need to worry about you hurting yourself?”

“I’m broken, not suicidal.”