Smokescreen

“I have to know. Are you involved with anyone?”

Sadness or disappointment, I can’t tell which, spreads over his face. He looks away and stops all movement with his fingers, pulling his arm back.

“My life is complicated, Stella. I gave up a lot of freedom and personal choices when I came back home. Certain expectations landed on my plate and difficult decisions were made. I’m not proud of some of them and I’m paying for that.”

“That’s not really an answer.”

“No, I guess it’s not.” He doesn’t say anything else.

My heart deflates. I knew this was a bad idea. He’s a taken man.

Jesus! Why do I care? I wasn’t going to get involved with him anyway.

I nod my head in understanding, not asking anymore questions. Moving off the sofa, I hope he gets the hint, tonight is over. His face falls but he gets up and hands me his wine glass, walking to the door.

He turns to me and the look of hurt and confusion makes me want to hug him. I knew he had some secrets, but I won’t be the other woman.

He gently cups my face and looks at me sadly. “You know the word Bella is the Italian word for ‘beautiful.’ I think Stella Bella is a wonderful nickname for you. You are beautiful, Bella, I’d say more beautiful than any super model.” He leans down and kisses my cheek and then disappears out the door.

He heard Laci today and he thinks I’m beautiful, just like the girl in the picture. Two tears run simultaneously down each cheek and drop to my collarbone. Why the hell am I crying?

What a fucking asshole. That’s exactly what I am. I left Stella’s house last night letting her think I’m involved with another woman. The energy and connection between us was buzzing and I could get lost staring into her amber eyes for the rest of my life. Yes, my life.

I never believed in love, even though my parents had a wonderful marriage and cared deeply for each other. I just didn’t think it was for me. I sowed my wild oats in undergraduate school, but slowed down in law school. A few women have kept my interest, but nothing more than a few nights. The energy required in a serious long-term relationship doesn’t interest me.

But the moment my eyes landed on Stella Sullivan, I knew she would change me. I tried to push down the ramping desire growing for this woman, but it’s no use. My thoughts drift to her all day long. My body hums with lust when I think of running my hands through her long dark hair while I hold her close. Jesus Christ, her body, with all her curves, drives me crazy.

Her dedication and drive is admirable, but her vibrancy and glow are the true reason I’m drawn to her. I saw a few pictures around her house last night of family and friends and wanted to know so much more about her.

The look of disappointment on her face plagued my mind and I didn’t sleep at all. Not wanting to ever see that look again because of me, I made a decision. I can’t tell her everything, but I will tell her about Erica.

“Dana!” I shout int

o the intercom.

“What?” she snaps back.

“Call Stella Sullivan and have her come over at ten. Tell her we need to go over some things and plan to clear her schedule for the day. Then, call Laci and find her favorite place to eat lunch. Order in.”

“Maxwell McCoy, if you ever bark at me like that again, you’ll miss me when I’m gone.” Dana stands in my doorway with her arms crossed. The look on her face makes me grimace. “Your dad tried it once and I told him the same thing.”

“Shit, I’m sorry. I’m wound pretty tight this morning.”

“Wanna tell me why?” She sits in front of me.

“I fucked up last night with Stella.” I throw my pen across the desk. “She asked me if I was involved with anyone and I froze.”

“I don’t think that would classify as fucking up.”

“It would if you invited yourself to her house, brought a two hundred dollar flower arrangement, and a forty dollar bottle of wine. Then proceeded to sit with her on the couch talking for over an hour getting to know each other.”

“You didn’t?”

“Yeah, and the worst part is she asked because I couldn’t stop staring into her eyes. They are mesmerizing. The intensity was fierce. All I wanted to do was—well, never mind.” I think how odd it would be to tell Dana I wanted to slide my tongue across Stella’s plump lips until she whimpered and gave her mouth to me in full submission.

“Then she broke the moment by asking me if I was involved and I said it was complicated.”

“Talk about mixed signals.”