Smokescreen

She whimpers slightly and then the only sound in the room is our skin slapping together. I’m close but want her to come again with me. My fingers slide down to her clit and I rub gently over the swollen area. As if her body knows only my touch, she shoots off again, taking me with her.

“Stella!” I yell, jetting into her body.

She lets go of the headboard and slumps forward, her chest heaving. “Wow.”

Reluctantly, I slide out and lay beside her. Long dark hair curtains her face and I push it behind one ear. He face is flushed and when our eyes meet, she grins at me.

“Baby, wow seems to be your go to word for a lot of things and it’s safe to say that was more than wow.”

“I’m numb, Max, literally numb.”

A grin spreads across my face and I chuckle. “It’ll wear off, babe. I’ll give you a couple of hours to rest.”

She slides against me and stills, her eyes grow wide. “Max, we didn’t use a condom.”

“No, we didn’t. Does that bother you?”

“Well, I mean we’ve never talked about it before but I’m protected and clean.”

“I’ve seen the pills, babe. I know you’re clean. And I had a physical last week. I’m clean too. It was something I wanted to talk about, but after having you on the back of my bike, grinding into me, I lost my shit. As soon as we got back here, there was no holding back. We can go back to condoms if you want.”

“It’s not that, but we never really talked about it.”

“Stella, I never want to know about your past. It would drive me into an early grave hearing you talk about men you’ve been with.”

Her silence worries me.

“Bella, you want to ask me something?” I dread her answer.

“I don’t want specifics, but I know you stopped sleeping with Erica and never brought woman home. What exactly did you do to … ummm … stay satisfied?”

Running my hands over my face, my mind tries to decide how much to tell her. But there’s only one answer, the truth.

“I never gave up sex, it was only a question of where. We have a corporate apartment and hotels are very convenient. I’m very good at being discreet. But sex was always just that. I’m always in control. There was no emotional connection, no promises, no commitment on my end. On the odd occasion I saw a woman more than once or twice, we usually went to her place.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Why?” Her response surprises me.

“I don’t know how to explain it but the way you describe it is so clinical. You sound removed. Things with us are so much more. I can’t imagine you being anything but passionate and loving.”

“That’s because it’s us. You said it yourself, from the day we met, we’ve had a connection. Hell, the minute you walked into that boardroom, my heart raced. Before I turned around to see you standing there, my life changed. As soon as our eyes met, I was a goner. So yeah, if you dissect my previous sex life, it was clinical.”

Her face softens and she runs the back of her knuckles over my cheek. “I felt it too. At the time, I thought it was because you were such a handsome man. Any woman would react to you. But when you held onto my hand a little longer than necessary, my stomach fluttered.”

“Glad to know I’m not the only one affected by just one touch.”

“You’re not,” she whispers, locking our gaze.

“So, Bella, about the condoms. Yes or no.”

“You do know the pill isn’t one hundred percent effective right?”

The look of concern on her face asks the question she is too scared to verbalize. My hand slides to her lower abdomen and I nod. “I know. But I’m thirty-three years old. I’ll be thirty-four soon. For the first time in my life, I’m in a relationship. A relationship I never want to end. I’m not saying we need to be careless, but I want you—all of you—with no barriers. I’ve tried to be respectful of your hesitation, but at the same time trying to prove my feelings for you.”

“Is this really happening? How can you be so sure? We’ve been together such a short time.”

“Duration is really a hang up with you, huh? Thought we may have conquered this at my mom’s that night. I guess I was wrong