“Jarod—we can’t do this—”
“Do what?” he came back with unfathomable calm.
“Be together.”
“Give me one reason why not.”
A half sob lodged in her throat. “Because it’s wrong! I can’t view you the same way I would any other man.”
“I should hope not.”
His wry response tied her up in knots.
“You know what I mean,” she cried emotionally. “You’ve left a whole way of life to be with…me.”
“Didn’t you mean what you said in my office that last day?”
She squirmed in the seat. “I don’t know what you’re getting at.” What a liar she was!
He sucked in his breath. “You wanted to stay, but I couldn’t ask that of you while I was still ordained. Now that I’m free, there’s nothing to hold us back from having a life together.
“We already know how we feel at the deepest level. What we need to do now is be married. We’ll have the rest of ours lives to get to know everything else about each other. Nothing but becoming man and wife will satisfy either of us at this point.
“We can go away, live anywhere. If you want to stay here and teach, that’s fine. I’ve already been promised a counseling job in Gardiner to suppo
rt us if that appeals to you.”
“Wait—” she cried. “You’re going too fast for me. I need time to think this all out.”
He leaned across the seat and caught her chin in his hand. She moaned at his touch. “I love you, Sydney. I did from the very first moments of our meeting. Let’s not waste any more time living apart. Life’s too short. I long to share it all with you. Just tell me you want a life with me, too.”
His warm breath on her lips sent fingers of forbidden yearning through her system.
“If the answer is no, then I’ll leave and you’ll never see me again.”
A cry of pain left her lips. “Does that mean you’ll go back to the Church?”
“No.” His voice sounded raw. “That part of my life is over.”
A new fear seized her heart. “Then what will you do?”
The caress of his fingers against her skin created fire everywhere he touched her. “If you can’t bring yourself to marry me, then it shouldn’t matter to you where I go or what happens to me.”
The mere thought of his leaving where she could never find him was incomprehensible to her.
“Jarod—”
“Say the words I need to hear, Sydney.” His urgency thrilled yet alarmed her.
“You know I’m so deeply in love with you, my life’s been a desolate waste.”
“That makes two of us,” he whispered against her lips before his mouth started to cover hers, but she turned her head and pushed him away.
“Why won’t you let me kiss you?” he whispered against her neck where the scent of her perfume still lingered.
“Because I feel a guilt that runs so deep, I can’t handle it. The man I loved was a priest. I’m still having an impossible time absorbing the revelation that you’ve left the priesthood. To be honest, I’m terrified.”
“Of me?” His voice grated.