“I know I shouldn’t be going out with him. But I couldn’t resist. Just one look and I couldn’t say no. It was definitely fun. We went to a ball game and had peanuts and rootbeer, and then we left there and went to play squash.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“You have no idea. He bought me pink gym clothes, told me I was playing squash wrong, and then he kissed me.”
“You kissed him? Why would you do that?”
“Did you SEE HIM? He’s hot, Pax. And all those damn muscles! That’s why. And he’s an amazing kisser. I should’ve known he would be, but he’s so arrogant I kind of figured he was all talk.”
“I take it he isn’t all talk,” Paxtyn said sarcastically.
“Not at all. He really put his mouth where his—mouth is,” Paige laughed.
“Be careful, honey. That’s all I’m saying. A man like that, who has power over your professional life, doesn’t belong in your bed.”
“What if I want him there?” she blurted out, “What if I think one night with him would do me a world of good?”
“All a night with that guy is going to do is leave you wanting more. Trust me on this, he’s dangerous for you. You’re halfway in love with him as it is. Your eyes are glazed like you’re high. Don’t get involved with him. You seriously look like a dieter who just ate a dozen donuts.”
“What? What does that even mean?”
“Like you’re glutted and defensive and want more already.”
“Okay, so that’s pretty accurate,” Paige sighed, “I hurt my foot yanking my hand back from his arm. He very innocently offered me his arm, I took it, I panicked, and I fell over trying to get away from him. It was like a bad cartoon. The only thing that would’ve been worse is if I’d landed on my face and knocked out my teeth. So I can pretty much guarantee he isn’t attracted to me after that, if it makes you feel any better.”
“It doesn’t, although I am glad to hear you had the sense to get your hands off him. I really think you’re going down a bad road here.”
“You’re a total buzzkill,” Paige said teasingly, “Now let me put my peas on my foot and go over how badly I embarrassed myself a few hundred times.”
“Do you promise you won’t sleep with him?”
“I promise I won’t sleep with him,” she said with a reluctant sigh.
In the morning, her foot was fine. She wore flats to work—the gorgeous pink flats he’d given her. They felt sexy on her feet, which didn’t make a lot of sense, but it was true all the same. He texted her midday, Tomorrow night, 5:30, you and me. No hijinks, no funny business. She grinned, read and reread the text fondly. She felt her pulse speed up at the thought of tomorrow night. Felt warmth flood her body as she remembered his hands on her jaw, the heat of his breath when he’d leaned in and said, “No fucking, right?” She’d wanted his tongue in her mouth then so much that she thought she’d faint from the hard twist of desire. She felt empty right now, wanting him so much.
What if she slept with him tomorrow night? What if she just indulged, just once, and didn’t tell her sister? Would it change everything, make everything worse? Or would it scratch that itch she hadn’t known she had? Because something about Luke Conners made her want to throw caution to the wind, spread her legs for him and never look back.
Paige went home from work, made some green Thai soup for Paxtyn who seemed to like cilantro despite the fact it tasted like soap. She took a long shower and shaved everything meticulously. Not that Luke would be touching her bare legs or anything else, but just in case. She did have a date, and women always shaved before a date—it was good manners. Besides, if she decided to wear a dress, she wanted to be able to go without tights. She was totally planning on a short black dress, the knit one with the scoop neck that she’d bought on sale and never worn—it was tight and sleek and at least an inch shorter than was appropriate. She didn’t mind showing some leg, and she liked the idea of Luke’s eyes traveling up her legs to where her thighs disappeared under the short black hem.
She laid out her only matching set—a lacy uplift bra in pale pink and matching panties. She didn’t intend to let him see them, of course, it was just to make herself feel fancy and feminine. It was, after all, their second and final date. She didn’t have any intention of giving in and marrying him, but she could have some fun and really give herself a night to remember. She planned to kiss him goodnight. It was the one thing she’d promised herself—this one frivolous night and one passionate, heart-stopping kiss. She deserved this, something luscious and indulgent to think about when she was lonely, when she was scared and overwhelmed by life.
Paxtyn came in to talk to her before going to bed. Paige was already stretched out on the couch in her penguin pajamas.
“Are you going out with him tomorrow night?”
“Yeah,” Paige said, trying not to sound defensive.
“Be careful, okay? Don’t let him break your heart. I think you’re farther gone than you think.”
“Pax, I thought you’d be the first one to tell me to seize the day,” Paige remonstrated with her sister.
“You know, I’ve done a lot of thinking since I’ve had cancer. About things I did and didn’t do. The thing is, it’s not like I’ve sat in chemo and wished I had more casual sex. I have never once thought I should have hooked up more or been less picky. I don’t want you throwing yourself away on this guy just because I’m sick and you think that means you should live life to the fullest or something. I’m not going to be your excuse to sleep with your boss.”
“It’s not about you,” Paige said, “It’s about me, about spending time with someone I like. Someone who’s an amazing kisser and seems to like me, too. It’s not a bad thing. It’s surprisingly fun and addicting.”
“I don’t want you getting—“
“My heart broken, I know. I won’t. Or if I do, it’s my heart. I’ll decide what to do with it.”