After a beat, he scrunched up his brow. “Wow, Wilder. That’s a hell of a transition.”
A mortified blush rose in my cheeks as he laughed shortly.
“I tell you I’m a victim of child abuse, and you ask if I want to have a child? Quite a leap there.”
Realizing I didn’t really think that one through that well, the blush remained and darkened, but the question didn’t disappear. For me, his answer was critical, more critical than he possibly could have known, so I asked him again. “Do you? I mean, do you ever even think about it?”
His sarcastic smile faded into a thoughtful frown as he considered it. Then it cleared entirely as he offered a flippant shrug. “No, not really.” When I locked my eyes on his, he shrugged again. “I mean, I’m sure I’d be a shit father. It’s probably best not to risk it. I surely haven’t had the best example.”
It felt like a weighted stone was pressing against my ribcage, making it nearly impossible for me to breathe. Somewhere, a door was closing, too fast for me to stop it, but I knew if I couldn’t find a way to keep it open, I’d forever be left to stand alone on the other side.
“That’s not true,” I answered in a hushed whisper. “I think you’d be an amazing father.”
He laughed shortly before throwing open his arms. “Look where we are, Abby. How would a child fit into this picture?”
I followed the gesture, in spite of myself. It implied much more than just the extravagant room. It was about his entire lifestyle, the perpetual spotlight, and decades of reading about himself in decades of papers, his entire life playing out on a global stage.
“This is no place for a child, Abby,” he said, casually and distractedly, too preoccupied to even notice that the girl in his arms had just died a little, that the future she’d envisioned had died with her.
“No...” My voice trembled as my skin ran ice cold. “You’re right. This is no place for a child.”
Nick and I locked eyes once more, and I saw that door close forever.
Chapter 14
I cannot believe I did this again!
For the second time in only a week, I found myself slipping away from the man I loved, leaving him in the lurch. For the second time in only a week, I found myself running away. The only difference was that this time, I didn’t go all the way to Peru. This time, I went somewhere a little closer to home. In fact, up until very recently, it actually was my home.
“Here we are, miss. Brooklyn.”
I looked up with a start before glancing out the window. Sure enough, we were back in my old neighborhood. Interestingly enough, while my life might have changed in every conceivable way since the last time I was on those streets, the streets themselves looked exactly the same. That, if nothing else, was oddly comforting.
“Thanks,” I said quickly, marveling at our quick arrival. “I really appreciate it.”
Truly, the man was a saint. Not only did he agree to drive out to the Hamptons at five in the morning to pick me up, but he also successfully battled his way into one of the most secure estates in the Western Hemisphere just to retrieve me. Then, he watched with strained patience as I climbed precariously out the second-story window, grabbed the vines of ivy trailing the walls, and shimmied my way down.
I had to raid Nick’s wallet before I left, so I gave the driver a large bill as a tip.
He looked at it for a moment and held it up to the light before eying me suspiciously in the rearview mirror. “You look really familiar. Do I know you from someplace?”
I wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. My face was plastered across so many newsstands that it was really impossible not to know me. Still, I quickly answered, “Nope,” then slid off the seat. “I just have one of those faces, I guess.”
The second I hit the sidewalk, I took a moment to get my bearings. My apartment had been rented out now, so I planned to stay with a friend for the night.
“Again, Abigail?”
My heart stopped cold, and I whirled around to see Nick standing on the sidewalk behind me, still dressed in the previous night’s crumpled clothes and staring down at me with a frustrated scowl on his face.
My mouth fell open, as I was momentarily stunned by the mere logistics. “How the hell did you get here so fast?” I finally asked. “I literally just left—”
“Exactly.” His beautiful eyes flashed pure malice as he took a step toward me. “Again, Abby. You left again.” This time, he didn’t even ask for a reason. Instead, he just stood there on the Brooklyn sidewalk in a $6,000 tuxedo, staring at me as all the light slowly left his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, forcing myself not to cry. It’s time to cut this cord once and for all, no matter how much I want to hang on, I told myself. “Nick, this just isn’t going to work out. Your world, your lifestyle... It’s no place for me. It was fun while it lasted, but it’s time we put this little charade to rest.”
He flinched as if he’d been hit, and a look of quiet devastation flashed through his eyes. “Charade? Is that... Shit, is that what I am to you? A fuckin’ game?”
“What!? No! I mean...” I trailed off, shocked that he would even think such a thing. “Nick, not us. I mean the rest of it. The whole world thinks we just got married in Peru. My taxi driver recognized me, for goodness sake! Not only that, but your future prepubescent stepmother hired a man to take naked photos of us just to get back at you for not having sex with her!” My arms shot out to gesture around just as his had done the night before. “This, Nick! I’m talking about this! This whole thing is crazy! And I miss my nice, stable, boring life.”