She chewed on her lip for a second and shook her head. “I don’t know,” she said. “I like the family. I know it’s hard sometimes and they can be a little self-absorbed, but they mean well. They take care of the neighborhoods. We’re safe and stuff, right?”
“Are we?” I cocked my head. “How many dead cousins do you have now, huh? When was the last time you went two months without a funeral?”
Her face soured. “That’s because of the Valentinos.”
“Yeah, it is, but it’s also because of our family, too.”
She shook her head. “That’s bullshit, Sam. You know it’s bullshit. Colm would’ve made peace ages ago, if he could. But the Valentinos won’t let him.”
I wasn’t sure that was true anymore. It was what we were told over and over again—the excuse for the war. The Valentinos were the aggressors and they’d do anything to wipe our family off the map. Colm Healy was the only man standing between us and them, and they weren’t interested in negotiating a peace. He’d tried everything, but the Valentinos were monsters.
Except I didn’t think they were, no more than the Healy family. They had their reasons and their people to protect, just like we did.
“I don’t know,” I said softly, almost sadly. I wished that I could go back and have simple faith in the family like Nessa did, but I didn’t think I ever could, not anymore at least. “I have this chance to get away and do something else. I’m afraid that if I don’t take it, there won’t ever be another shot.”
Nessa sighed. “It’s not like I don’t get where you’re coming from. I’ve thought about it too, you know? Leaving the family, starting over, that sort of shit. Falling in love with some tall, dark, handsome stranger. But that’s not life for us. It’s not what we’re meant to do.”
“I’m not sure we’re meant to do anything.”
Nessa shrugged and said something, but there was movement at the far side of the playground and I didn’t quite catch what she said. At first, I thought it was the guys playing basketball again—but the courts were empty. Instead, three figures walked toward us.
I felt my heart beat double time and stood up. Nessa followed my gaze and didn’t seem surprised as my father and two Healy goons walked toward us.
“Don’t freak out,” Nessa said.
I stared at her. “What did you do?”
“I was worried about you,” she said. “And your dad’s been up my ass since you left with that guy. I couldn’t keep this from him.”
“Oh my god, Nessa,” I said, backing away. “You called him. But you brought me a bag of clothes.”
“Had to make you stay.” Nessa didn’t move from the swing. She hung her head, staring at the ground. “I really am sorry, Sam. I do love you. But maybe you’re not thinking clearly, you know?”
“I can’t believe you’d do this,” I said, still backing away. The Healy guys with my dad split up and went around the long way, moving to cut me off as my father continued to march toward me, a scowl on his thin, lined face.
I looked around wildly. I still couldn’t see Matteo’s truck anywhere, and I regretted telling him to drive around while he waited. I just wanted a second of privacy with my best friend, and I never imagined she’d sell me out to my father, not for a single second—
But my dad stopped a few feet away from me, and Nessa just kept staring at the ground.
“You’re in trouble,” he said.
“Dad, it’s not what you think.”
“You ran off with some stranger.” He clenched his jaw. “How’s it not what I think it is?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Then simplify it for me. Why would you leave with a guy that pulled a gun on your own family?”
Anger flared in me suddenly, hot and rough. “They’re not my family,” I snapped. “They’re some fucking guys that work for your brother. I don’t even know half of them.”
Dad’s hands curled into fists. “They’re not family? Listen to yourself, Sam. What the hell’s going on with you?”
“I don’t want this, I don’t want any of this.”
“We’ll talk about it at home,” Dad said. “Now come on. You’re making a scene and embarrassing yourself.”
“Oh, of course I am,” I said, laughing horribly. “You must be so embarrassed of your daughter. Well, guess what, Dad? I’m pregnant, and I’m not staying with you for one second longer than I have to.”
His mouth fell open. The color drained from his skin. And my hands flew up to my mouth.
I just told him that I’m pregnant.
I couldn’t believe I did that. I mean, he had to find out sooner or later, but to yell it at him in the park?
That was the dumbest thing I could’ve done.
But it was over. I made my choice, and now he knew the truth. He probably was putting it all together already, the guy I left with, this sudden baby. He’d figure out that I went to that orgy party eventually, too.