Coal (Regulators MC 3)

He squeezes me to reassure me.

“I found my own ways to cope, but it was hard in the beginning. It’s good to see depression is not just slid under a rug. There are other options. Medicines aren’t bad, but there are a lot of side effects.”

“Wanna talk about it, Pixie?”

“I don’t know what to say.” I shrug. “I tried medications. You have to wait for it to work into your system. Some of them made me throw up, some made me sleepy, and others gave me insomnia.”

“So, what did you end up doing?”

“Alternatives,” I answer, remembering how hard it was to make the changes in my lifestyle. “It started before my parents died when I learned about Feng Shui. I didn’t take it seriously, though, not until after they were gone.” I blow out a heavy breath. “When the medications didn’t help, and I felt like I was going crazy, I found yoga.”

“I thought you were gonna say you gave up meat,” Coal says in such a serious tone that I can’t help laughing.

“Baby steps. It was baby steps to cleanse my life. If I eat clean, then I don’t have the extra draw backs in my system from toxins, which aid in depression. The research shows, the more advanced our world becomes, the more processed foods we eat, the higher the rates are in cancer as well as mental illness. The more I changed, the more I realized the impacts on the world. I could have a job using my degree, but for what? I love what I do, my life is balanced. So I don’t make much, but material things don’t matter to me. I value what I have.”

Coal kisses my temple, and the anxiety that was creeping up in talking about my past eases away.

“Trevor, I want you to know you don’t have to give up meat. I appreciate the support, but I’m not even tempted to change my diet.”

“Told before you, Pixie, this shit isn’t about you. My past is tainted in blood. Saw too much, especially recently.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

I genuinely want to support this man as much as he does me.

“Can’t. My job, Pixie, my life, there are things I can’t ever discuss. Are you gonna be okay with that?”

“I’ll be honest; I’m not sure.”

There is a heaviness in the air at my response.

Apprehension.

“Pixie, if you can’t understand my job and lifestyle, then this ain’t gonna work.”

“Trevor, what you’re asking me to do hurts.”

Pain sears through my chest. I bite the inside of my cheek as the uncertainty settles between us.

“Pixie, I’ll never do anything that hurts you. But my job is off limits. I’ll do the best I can not to bring the dark home, but you need to know I can’t talk about it.”

“I don’t need you to tell me details, Trevor. I just want to help you remember you’re on the good side and take away the heavy and the dark.”

His lips crash against mine in a searing kiss. “Love you, Pixie. Love that you are the light in my world.” Each word is against my lips before he kisses me again.

“I’ll always be your light, Trevor Blake,” I whisper before we get lost in each other and the connection we share.

Chapter Eighteen

~Coal~

With our mission report turned in for Cook, we are in the clear for any ties to him. As far as the US Government is concerned, the Regulators MC don’t exist and Cook is a missing person … one that will never be found.

Apparently, Cook was hired to do a job and failed. An informant told him the hit was out. Deciding to go out with too much attention on him from us, the cartel backed down to let us clean up their mess.

After he injured Lisa and took out Big Jim, I’m happy to have dished out our vengeance and clean up for them.

Lisa is doing okay. Pixie put together a care package with salts, and we mailed it yesterday. She’s surrounded by family in Kentucky and picking up the pieces. Her life will never be the same, but she is strong.

Precious is strong, too. She found herself a real job as a receptionist in a doctor’s office. The benefits are good, and she even got herself a home. I set her up with some money in savings, and so far, she hasn’t touched it since starting the job.

Since we had the cruise liner mission for the DEA and Cook murders, we have a little down time until the next mission comes up. Normally, I would be anxious to get the next job. Life was just one assignment to another … until Pixie.

I even called my mom a couple of times. She’s doing good and is back at work. I hope to take Pixie to meet her soon. From what Mom told me, Amber went to see her when she got settled at home. She told my mom I didn’t rape her. She wanted to tell my family sooner, but felt she owed it to me first. Only, I was unable to be reached.