“Well, Suzie, your shit rained down a storm on my life, not theirs. Who would have thought that would be my life story?”
I let the tears fall for my sister. I let the tears fall for the life I left behind in North Carolina. I let the tears fall for the man I love who walked out of the door and out of my life. I let the tears fall and fall.
Evan comes out and wraps his arms around me. The McCoy men are good huggers. I want to laugh, but I can’t. I cry. It is all I can seem to manage.
Evan holds me silently as I let it all out in the ugliest way possible, and I can’t even bring myself to care. When I finally seem all cried out, he pulls away, and thank the good Lord above, he doesn’t make a comment about the state in which I have left his shirt. I look up into his eyes, the same eyes his brother has, and I can see his pain there.
“You’re safe now, Desirae. I’m sorry—”
“Don’t, Evan. Don’t apologize for your brother.”
He smirks. “Oh, I’m not apologizing for him. He’s a dick.”
I give a half-grin at that.
“I’m sorry about Ricca getting you.”
“At least I don’t have to hide anymore,” I say, trying to stay positive as the adrenaline leaves my body, and I start to feel the pain. “Do you have something for pain?” I ask, feeling weak.
His eyes grow dark. “Des, I don’t have anything stronger than a heating pad.”
My eyes grow big at the horrifying thought of a home with no Motrin, he simply smiles. There is something about those McCoy boys that instantly calms my nerves.
He shrugs. “I had a problem a few years back. Ethan helped me out, and I don’t give myself any temptations, not even the over-the-counter kind.”
I raise an eyebrow at him. “You work in a bar; how can you resist that?” I give a half serious laugh. “I could use a drink or, like, eight right now.”
We both laugh.
“Eight drinks and you’d be hugging the toilet, babe. As for me, my brother owns part of that bar, and I don’t wanna do anything that could bring him more pain than he’s already had in this lifetime.”
Instantly, my heart hurts for Ethan. I guess that’s what love does.
My mind begins to wonder about Ethan and how he really is doing. I know he is pushing me away because he thinks he failed me. I wish I could get him to understand that the only way he failed me was by leaving me. He should know by now that I don’t measure a man by the strength of his body, but by the will of his soul. And Ethan’s soul is a beautiful thing under that cloudy, gruff exterior he shows the world. If only he could learn to trust himself as much as I have learned to trust him … I’m not sure I will ever be able to make him see what I see in him: not a broken man, but one who is loyal and determined to protect those he cares for.
I move to sit on the couch as my whole body begins to hurt.
Tank is on his way. Can I really leave? Can I really go back to North Carolina?
The answer is simple.
“Can I use your phone, Evan?” I ask, not knowing where mine is.
After reaching in his back pocket, he then tosses me his cell.
I swipe the screen and dial the one number I know by heart.
“Hello,” she answers, and I hear Red, their son, in the background.
“Sass, it’s me. Des.”
“Oh, my God! Girl, I have missed you!”
I smile. “I miss you, too.”
“I can’t wait till Tank gets you home.”
Sighing, I take the biggest risk of my life. “About that … Will you call him back home?”
“What?” she screeches. “Have you lost your mind? Did you get hit in the head or some shit?” And that is why she’s Sass. She never holds back.
“No, I haven’t lost my mind, and yes, I was technically hit in the head, but I’m serious. I wanna stay here.”
“Desirae Shythe!”
“Don’t you get all mother hen on me. Look, I met someone.”
She sighs lovingly.
“I can’t give up on him.”
“You know the boys all miss you.”
“I know, but I’ve gotta see where this can go, or I’ll never know.”
“I get you. I’ll make the call.”
“Thanks,” I say with a smile.
“If you wanna come home, one call, Des, one fucking call and we’re there.”
With that, I give her a good-bye, knowing she meant every word. That’s the Hellions. They will always be there for me. Only two questions in my mind remain: Can I find the same thing with the Regulators one day? Can I get back what Ethan and I started to build between us?